If converts are on such a high level why won’t you marry one?

If gerim are on such a high madreiga, why doesn’t anyone want to marry them?

It’s a pretty good question. I myself am very fond of converts. I think they must have some loose screws for wanting to join our nutty religion, but when it comes down to it, we all must have some loose screws for wanting to stick with the madness we call orthodox Judaism.

If people really thought converts were on such a high level, you would think they would be going like hotcakes. Visiting the shadchan, they kind of give me this quizzical look when I, Mr. FFB, am willing to date a convert. Willing is a strong word. Most of you may disagree, but I think marrying a convert has a ton of advantages.

One of my biggest fears of marriage, other than winding up with an ugly lower ervah area, is marrying a girl from a place I really don’t like. I would probably want to kill myself if I had to spend more time than is necessary to fill my tank with cheap gas in New Jersey. What if your inlaws live in Brooklyn? Sure, I would date girls from New Jersey (my first girlfriend was from Elizabeth — I was 14) but it’s a scary thought.

Reasons to marry a convert:

You never have to spend yom tov with their family (maybe Christmas or Thanksgiving)

They are usually hotter than us Jews

They are probably already trained in tashmish hamitah

They have better manners

They can teach you about their former religion

They can give you a better understanding of the privileges of being a Jew

They won’t go crazy when they catch you looking at porn

They don’t look at every little thing as a “crisis”

They always have a good story about their conversion to tell

A lot of the time they are from somewhere weird and cool