Sefiras Haomer is the perfect time to be extra frum

Just because we just finished Pesach and it’s chumra madness doesn’t mean you can’t one up all of your neighbors with chumros. If not for sefiras ha-omer all of the machmir police would have to wait until the three weeks to out-frum their neighbors. How frum can you get during the omer? I just found out that Acapella Music is assur because it sounds like music – even though it officially is not.

Ways to be extra frum during the omer:

Erase all of the music on your Ipod and load it with shmuzem. Chas V’shalom you should transgress the omer and listen to music.

Only enter frum stores so you don’t hear any music on the periphery.

Do not bathe; this is a period of mourning after all.

Do not buy anything new, including food. Going the extra step can bring the mourning a bit closer to home.

Don’t wash your clothing.

Refrain from eating meat. Even fish may be a bit too fancy for these times of sadness.

Refrain from smiling. Showing happiness is assur.

Do not have any sexual relations; this should be assur if it’s not for the purpose of having children anyway.

If you can afford to, you should close your business. Business may provide the means for you to buy new things which is clearly assur.

Do not wear colorful clothing – women should never wear color obviously – but men should refrain from too much color as it shows signs of happiness.

Do not use the internet for there may be music that emanates from your speaks when you load a page.

Do not trim your nose hairs for you may come to give yourself a haircut.

Sell your shaver to a non-Jew and buy it back after the omer.

Do not wear leather shoes, but make sure not to wear crocs or converse sneakers because they are stylish and comfortable.

Make sure to adjust the heat and air conditioning to levels that it uncomfortable in your home – unless you are learning torah.

Refrain from talking about the current day with regards to anything, for you may come to mentioning the day of the omer and revoke the day’s status.

Turn your cell phone ringer off lest you listen to a joyous ringtone.

Try to visit as many shadchanim as possible because they cause so much pain.