Shidduch Crisis Anonymous

Shidduch Crisis Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from the Shidduch Crisis. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop being single. There are no dues or fees for SCA membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. SCA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution. It does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to get people out of crisis and help others in the Shidduch Crisis to achieve marriage or at least a second date.

Shidduch Crisis Anonymous

We who are in SCA came because we finally gave up being so picky. We still hated to admit that we were picky. Then we heard from other SCA members that we were going to end up old maids and crazy old men. (We thought so for years!) We found out that many people suffered from the same feelings of guilt and loneliness and hopelessness that we did. We found out that we had these feelings because we had entered the shidduch crisis!

We decided to try and face up to what being picky had done to us. Here are some of the questions we tried to answer honestly. If we answered YES to four or more questions, we were in deep trouble with our pickiness. See how you do. Remember, there is no disgrace in facing up to the fact that you have a problem.

Do you wish people would mind their own business about your shidduch problem and stop telling you what to do?
In SCA we do not tell anyone to do anything. We just talk about our own problems, the trouble we got into, and how we stopped. We will be glad to help you, if you want us to.

Have you ever switched from one kind of girl/guy to another in the hope that this would help you to get married?
We tried all kinds of ways. We made our resumes perfect. Or just listened to the shadchan. We went to singles shabbatons. We tried only dating the people our parents found for us. You name it, we tried it. Nevertheless, if we dated anyone, we usually usually found something wrong with them.

Are most of your dating experiences limited to one date?

Many SCA members share the common problem of one date followed by rejection.

Does it feel like everyone you get set up with is unattractive?
Many of us feel exactly the same way. We tell ourselves that we deserve only a size 2 or the best looking guy in the world. Unfortunately, many SCA members fail to look at themselves in the mirror and see what they have to offer.

Do you envy people who can date one girl and just get married?
At one time or another, most of us have wondered why we were not like most people who seem to have it so easy.

Do you get offended when people make any comment referring to your status?
Many SCA members have had outbursts at events when someone asked them how the dating was coming along.

Has your single status caused trouble at home?
Before we came into SCA, most of us said that it was the people or problems at home that made us single. We could not see that our single status just made everything worse. It never solved problems anywhere or anytime.

Do you tell yourself you can get married any time you want, even though you keep rejecting girls/guys when you don’t mean to?
Many of us kidded ourselves into thinking that we were single because we wanted to be. After we came into SCA, we found out that once we stayed single, we couldn’t just settle down.

Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you just settled?
Many members of SCA feel that settling may be the answer to their problems; divorce simply doesn’t enter their psyche. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

Did you answer YES four or more times? If so, you are probably in trouble with dating. Why do we say this? Because thousands of people in SCA have said so for many years. They found out the truth about themselves — the hard way. But again, only you can decide whether you think SCA is for you. Try to keep an open mind on the subject. If the answer is YES, we will be glad to show you how we stopped being picky ourselves. Just call. SCA does not promise to solve your life’s problems. But we can show you how we are learning to live without being picky “one day at a time.” We stay away from that “first date rejection.” If there is no first one, there cannot be a tenth one. And when we got rid of that one date attitude, we found that life became much more manageable.