Messing with BT’s on Pesach

Messing with BT’s has been a Frum Satire tradition for several years now. It doesn’t get old, because you can really have a messing with BT’s post for every holiday, Jewish event or regular daily life, I even had one on the laws of shaimos. I got the idea while sitting in the kosher kitchen of the University of Albany with a table of BT friends of mine that told me it would have pretty easy for someone frum to mess with them, we all laughed and I sat down and wrote the original Messing with BT’s post – which was loved and hated by many of you, but more fun than messing with Yeshivish People. Sure some of these ideas have been recycled through the years and some of you think it’s mean spirited, but I assure you it’s all in good fun and I don’t think anyone would actually do the following things.

Messing with BT’s on Pesach:

Tell them they have to kasher their toilet bowl

Tell them that they need to buy grass fed beef, grains are assur

Tell them that they can’t go into stores selling chometz

Convince them that the torah codes guy at Aish could read matzo like brail

Tell them they must burn their toothbrushes with the chometz

Tell them to should change all of their cars filters because there is probably chometz caught in them

Convince them that eating gebroktz can lower their shidduch market value

Tell them that gasoline is chometz because it contains ethanol

Convince them that any vegetables with seeds are assur because they can be mistaken for grain

Tell them that true frummies don’t eat potatoes because the rabbis almost banned them a couple hundred years ago

Tell them they need to kasher their braces, by gargling boiling water or by sticking their face into the pot

Wall paper needs to be removed because the paste may contain chometz

Tell them that eruvim are assur on pesach because of all the chometz that blows into them, good thing you only need them on shabbos.

Tell them that people who keep non-gebrokts don’t do mayim achronim

Tell them they must have a pesach suit because of the crumbs that ended up in their cuffs would probably be forgotten and found over pesach

Tell them they should kasher their hands if possible to get all the chometz out from under their nails

Tell them to save all the chometz they find over pesach for tashlich

Tell them they must buy kosher paper towels because the towels are connected to the tube with chometz (some people have even convinced some FFB’s to do this too)

Tell them that the biggest machlokes between the Vilna Gaon and the Chassidim was gebrokts

Tell them that matzo balls were created so that the frum Jews would know which houses they couldn’t eat at on pesach

Tell them that matzo induced constipation is man’s punishment for wanting to go back to Egypt when they hit the sea of reeds

All fruits and vegetables must be certified kosher for Passover

Convince them that if shmura matzo is like non-mevushal wine, if a non-Jew looks at it it becomes chometz

Tell them that the OR symbol may be good the rest of the year but not on Pesach

Tell them that most matzo is not kosher for pesach because they don’t want Jews who don’t really keep kosher to hog the limited supplies

Tell them they shouldn’t trust rabbis that say you can eat certian things on pesach without a hashgacha

Tell them that many rabbis oppose pesach coke because it’s a moris ayin