By Frum Punk
Hey Shmuley, listen up. I know you spend most of your drive time soaking in the wisdom of Misters Limbaugh, Savage and Beck. I know you watch Fox News online and are proud to live in the United States of Glen Beck (the author of this post is British). I’ve seen your comments on Vos Is Neais and Yeshiva World News. I know how scared you are of that radical socialist black/Muslim Jew-hater and his Israel-, health- and grandma-destroying agenda, but listen up Shmuley, because I’m about to invalidate your opinion on the health care bill.
Why, you ask? Is it because I’m just another lie-beral trying to silence dissenting opinions so I can shove my Stalinist ideas down your throat and then send you to the healthcare gulag? Is it because I’m a smug elitist who thinks he knows best, like when your mother “gently corrects” your wife about what she puts in her cholent and the effect it will have on her sons digestion (he’s so delicate, you know)?
No, Shmuley, it’s because you fall under my list of people who don’t have the right to weigh in on socialist issues for the simple reason of: You’re Already Halfway There Yourself. Between your food stamps, Section 8 Housing allowance, your parents’ Medicare and Medicaid, your shver-paid car and your gmachs/donation-funded wedding…. Get the picture? I mean, the concept of tzedoka is more socialist than anything Hussain Obama could have come up with. “You’re required to give at least 10% of what you earn to those with less. And no, you can’t just rant about how they should have worked as hard as you.”
Let’s face it kids. Halacha is socialist. The commandment to look out for your fellow man is socialist. Bringing the poor into your seder is socialist. Anything that commands you to give to others and “spread the wealth” as it were, is a socialist concept. And you’re angry at a law that would require healthcare to everyone, even if they have a pre-existing condition? Think I’m wrong? Have you seen Glen Beck ranting about the evils of “social welfare” and “social justice”?
So Shmuley, stop listening to the idiots on talk radio and parroting their opinions. Be glad you live in a country that has been good to the oppressed and downtrodden and start recognizing this law as an extension of that. Otherwise I’ll cancel your food stamps and forbid you from accepting any money you didn’t earn. Your shver will be relived.