Make 3 shidduchim and go directly to heaven – seems like BS to me

I have heard countless people say that if you make 3 shidduchim you get a direct VIP pass to heaven, but it seems like a load of crap to me. I know that may be a little heretical of me to say, kind of like doubting the validity of those Gadol stories, but I refuse to believe that God would ever provide an easy way out of the toil that is the life he gave us.

I remember asking one of my Rebbes in high school about something similar to this, the classic, “you mean to tell me that if I do this one thing I go to heaven, but does doing something so despicable by torah standards send me right to hell?” Of course the Rabbi had to pull one of those “not recommended-esque” answers that mashgichim like to give. “Well it’s understood differently, and we don’t really know, blah blah…” the high school rebbes version of takoo or halacha moshe mi-sinai – basically the cop out answer.

So why do people keep telling me to make one more match so I can go to heaven, seems kind of shady to tell someone on such a low madreiga as me. Tell people like me to do that and we will do that one thing and then go on a sinning spree. “You mean to tell me my three shidduchs, got me out of all these other sins I have accumulated.” Man I better get my fill!!!