The best ways to mess with BT’s on Yom Kippur

yom kippur foodI think I may have to do short lists for every holiday, because messing with BT’s rocks and makes the time go by quicker.Check out the original Messing with BT’s and the Rosh Hashana/YK/Succos edition

Messing with Baal Teshuvas on Yom Kippur:

Tell them that their shoes looking like leather is a major ayin harah;

Tell them that we bend down durring viduy because clopping our chests is untznius;

Tell them that BT’s are only not allowed to bid for aliyahs, only for things like pesicha and gelila;

Ask them if the checked their brand of non-leather shoes against the rabbinically approved list, because some plastics contain leather derivatives;

Tell them that similar to not looking at chometz on Pesach they cannot look at food on Yom Kippur;

Tell them its assur to go to the bathroom during musaf;

Tell them that since they are newly keeping halacha they must make a taanis dibbur;

Tell them that the people who go shoeless are the holiest in shul;

Tell them that they must clop until it hurts – and then run back and tell them they can’t make a bruise on Yom Kippur;

If you see a BT getting called to the torah, steal the bracha sheet;

Tell them that transliterated siddurs are not allowed to be used on Yom Kippur because people who don’t keep shabbos tend to favor them;

Tell them that they must bury the napkins used for aleinu with shamos;

Tell them that their viduy clopping must be skin on skin;

Tell them that Birnbaum machzors are assur because they use old English;

Tell them that itís a zechus to bid $613 for an aliyah;

Convince them that going to the bathroom is assur on Yom Kippur because it is pleasurable;

Tell them that after Yom Kippur they should check if they have a black and blue mark where they beat their chest to make sure they did proper teshuvah;

Tell them that before going to the mikvah they must think of one specific sin and dip each time that sin was committed;

Tell them that looking at women is assur on Yom Kippur including their wives;

Any to add to the list?