Communal cup sharing on shabbat is gross and dangerous

kiddushThe latest in WTF – Facebook clubs comes from the Germaphobes of Facebook in the form of anti “sharing the wine cup” on shabbos group which has been joined by 3 people including myself (I only joined so I could write this post)

Just like the yearly “clean your netilas yedayim” cup event that I find rather hilarious, the “communal cup sharing in shabbat is gross” club is a half assed attempt at making frum Judaism cleaner, which shall never happen especially when we have the following disgusting but necessary items at religious institutions everywhere.

The endless towel:

The endless towel, which should definitely be banned, is located in yeshivas worldwide. The endless towel is typically blue, and typically runs into a kink somewhere between shachris and first seder at which point it drags on the floor soaking up urine and post washing cup filth, until the janitor can be called to fix it.

Wine cup sharing:

Wine cup sharing can be a pretty gruesome event if you happen to be stuck at a table with a long bearded fellow that likes to blow his nose into his beard than your up a creek without a paddle. I don’t think a facebook club is going to change things, and our immunity to diseases such as the inexplicable low death rate during the Black Plague may be attributed to the fact that frum Jews do some pretty dirty rituals. Cup sharing is helping our immune systems.

There aint no soap:

In many frum institutions washing cups are favored instead of soap, empty soap dispensers are used as wall grips so that they can chain their washing cups to the wall so they don’t get stolen, on a similar note whats the deal with those annoying coat room hangers, what yeshiva guy is going to steal a hangar, seriously, hangars in yeshivas are the one thing they have too much of – from all the dry cleaning.

Where is the cholent spoon?

It doesn’t only happen to the cholent spoon, but the cholent spoon sliding into the serving bowl at kiddush is so problematic because cholent is the most sought after commodity at kiddush and people tend to use their little forks (sometimes already used) to fish out meat while some good Samaritan tries to fish the actual serving spoon out which becomes wrapped in really crappy kiddush napkins drenched in cholent, its really a terrible and disgusting affair.

Wait, all we have are toothpicks:

Countless times I have seen people take that toothpick that had just shoved a piece of shmaltz herring in their mouths and stick it into the cream herring for double dips, first of all – the mixing of flavors is too much – I personally don’t care much, I’ll eat it anyway, but for you germies, oy, its a shonda.