Top ten signs your Rabbi was recently indicted

rabbis go to prisonBy Seth Galena of Bang It Out – the original Jewish comedy website

Top ten signs your Rabbi was recently indicted

10 Suddenly takes on minhag to wear hat on face

9 Synagogue Charity Auction now includes “Kidney”

8 Unless you work in criminal defense, you ain’t getting Shlishi

7 Rebbetzin is suddenly on Jdate

6 Afternoon Halacha Shiur now entitled: “Ankle Monitors on Shabbat”

5 Will be spending the rest of the summer “upstate”

4 Sermon comes in form of an Affadavit

3 Keeps tying everything to an obscure “Josef in Jail” metaphor

2 Pretty sure he just referred to Bernie Madoff as “Shlita”

1 He’s still wearing Black & White, only this time, it’s all stripes

Top ten positive things about your Rabbi going to jail:

10. No rabbi speech

9. Will finally stop wearing same suit every shabbos

8. Sick post prison pichei stories…

7. Can blame single status on waiting for him to get out to officiate wedding

6. Less fear he’ll screw up your family names during Simcha

5. Sick parking spot open

4. Cuts out middle man of selling chometz to a goy

3. Shabbos over 20 minutes earlier

2. Breakaway minyan finally has no purpose

1. Guilt-free Kiddush Club