I have been getting quite a bit of mail lately asking for me to write down my thoughts on Baal Teshuva girls. These people say that I always write about guys, but never about girls – this should seem obvious, but I know more about BT guys, I can spot them based on their dress, davening mannerisms and how they talk. I am sure girls do the same thing, I will attempt to write something.
I should really title this post, “why I don’t write about BT girls”
Girls becoming frum is an interesting progression, many of the girls I have watched drink the punch and take the plunge did it because they didn’t want to be considered a sex object. This is great, because it means more hot girls are coming into the fold. Other reasons girls become frum, are because they babysat way too often at their local chabad or they found the beauty in lighting candles, girls who become frum based on Friday night candle lighting must feel duped when they realize single guys light candles too (I mean the kiruv folks kind of advertise candle lighting as this beautiful woman’s mitzvah and all)
The first thing that girls do when they start contemplating frumkeit, is go on one of those bribery based trips run by aish or chabad. They show you the beauty of being frum while shuttling you around Israel for 99 bucks. Just 2 weeks of Jewel can change a girls life forever. They suddenly return to their college campus wearing skirts, refraining from hugging their guy friends and deleting all their party pictures from facebook. If this is not backed up by a healthy dose of campus kiruv or local chabad, it usually ends by the time you realize that long sleeves in the summer don’t work too well.
I always marveled at the girls who understood the subtleties of frum society when they were first becoming frum. I love watching girls who hide the fact they are going out after havdalah or they start hiding their arms at chabad, but when they see the Rabbi walking around they duck behind a tree.
This is a very random ideas all over the place post by the way….just warning you.
The worst kind of BT is the shomer negiah intensive BT girl. Girls and guys alike feel that this is the thing to start off with first. I have met girls who don’t keep shabbos, eat meat and milk, but they are strictly shomer negiah. Then you have those girls that will hook up with you and then tell you that they don’t want you watching movies with untznius girls in them.
BT girls shuckel like men when they daven. They usually don’t realize that its frum women don’t shuckel when davening, they sway or do side to side shuckels. BT girls also love to bury their face in their siddur, which is a problem because they usually don’t know the words yet.
What about BT girls and the two facebook profile phenomena? I know quite a few girls who have two Facebook profiles, one for their old days and one for their new Hebrew name and new friends from seminary – usually this profile has only tznius pictures and no guy friends. I do love it however, when you look at their new profile and you can tell they started becoming normal again because they are showing their elbows and friends with guys – albeit nice Jewish guys that they met on shabbos.
I have heard of girls burning their untznius clothing, almost all of them regret it afterward, when they realize that tank tops can be worn over long sleeved shirts and pants can be worn depending on your observance level. Of course for all those ex-sluts those mini skirts and thigh high hooker boots may be a problem.
What is it with BT girls and Blue Fringe?
BT girls who come back from Israel took about how beautiful everything is. If they could I am sure all BT girls would kiss their hands after they shook yours.
I find that the girls that BT programs don’t want are the types that read this blog, questioning cynics are bad for business.
Now do you understand why I don’t write about BT girls…I have nothing to say! But I want to hear your thoughts and if you want to write a guest post about your experiences or thoughts – please send it down.