Has anyone heard of the newest idea from those trying to milk the shidduch crisis for all its worth. As a conspiracy theorist, I believe the shidduch crisis was made by folks who decided that we could have a whole economy based on trying to help you find a shidduch, this economy goes way beyond the simple Frumster and Saw You At Sinai sites. You can have people pray for you at various holy sites, do things that will get you your segula points without having to them yourself and you can even put your shidduch profile in a magazine of shidduch profiles which I nor anyone I know has actually seen.
Read the JTA Article – it is extensive and has some other good Shidduch Crisis info including pointing the blame at separation of the sexes.
Now from the forward thinking shidduch milkers comes Shidduch Vision. Instead of turning down those girls in Baltimore (why does Baltimore get so much attention?) because they live too far away and the toll cost from New York to Baltimore is over $25 each way – you can have a video conference shidduch date.
Now my first thought was that this sounds exactly like Skype, but probably has the Rabbis approval, so they can actually charge you money while skype is free. I actually sat in the same room when one of my buddies had his first “skype date” with someone, I was waiting for the clothes to be removed but they weren’t.
Shidduch Vision allows you to have up to 3 dates with their “state of the art” overpriced kosher skype – private video feed. Each date costs just $18 which aint too shabby, considering you don’t have to pay for drinks or dinner and you can finally go on a date in your bathrobe, or if you aim the camera right, you can just go naked, now that would be something – Naked Shidduch Dating – brought to you by Shidduch Vision.
Shidduch Vision is obviously just a money making scheme aimed at people who are too dumb to figure out how to use Skype, myself included. But this does open up a whole new realm of what could be done – this can usher in a whole new world of Voyeur Shidduch Dating – similar to my highest viewed video on You Tube of when I went to the Marriott Hotel in Brooklyn and filmed all the yeshivish dates there.
You also have the ability to cut the date short, how many times have you met the girl at the door and wanted to run away as fast as possible? Imagine the beauty of ending a date on shidduch vision – you can just claim your internet went down, makes it so much easier to cut the date short.
As I mentioned you can date in your underwear – but another much more important factor should be considered. Do you know how many times I have wanted to get a wire and listen onto my friends dates? Now you can just have Shidduch Parties, all of your friends can go on the “date” with you.
Some potential downsides to be considered:
If you thought that girls pictures looked nothing like their profiles, do you know what some fancy lighting and dark outfits can do to a girl on video. You don’t actually get to see her in all her flabby glory until the third date and these girls will be a long way for you to travel. Unless at the beginning of the date you tell your date to do a runway walk and spin around with all the lights on.
In no way will you get any!
You have to clean your room, and make sure to remove any incriminating factors. You cant just fake being frum, the girl will know that your towel is covering your TV. It kind of seems like one of those MTV shows when the girl inspects the guys room.