We all love to hate shadchanim and the latest news that rates for their services is giving people another reason to hate on them, but I just don’t agree. I myself haven’t been to too many professional shadchanim, but when you say professional you are summing up the fact that they have decided to go into this time honored profession, and nothing in life is free – even getting hooked up with your marriage partner.
An article on Ynet which was picked up by Vos Iz Neias detailed the new prices for a successful shidduch. We should remember that shadchanim are kind of like real estate brokers in that you pay nothing if your match isn’t found, seems that no one takes that into consideration when throwing flames at shadchanim.
Have any of you ever tried to make a shidduch? Its absolute hell and besides for the fame and possibility of getting laid, I have no idea why anyone would want to go into the professional shadchan game. Especially in a shidduch crisis when less matches are being made, the money must not be so great, enter in the payment plans that people in financial crisis probably work out with the shadchan who finds them a match must have terribly high interest rates.
Anyone can point out that shadchanim have it tough, beneath their judgmental “does your family have a white tablecloth?” and “Do you stack or scrape?” ridiculousness, I am sure their lies a kind hearted individual who lives off her husbands hard earned cash in order to be a paid yenta. But seriously folks, I don’t think we realize how tough shadchans have it.
You have those nebach guys who will only go out with a smoking hot girl, visa versa, or those people who only want someone 2 years 10 months older than them. Maybe you’re the ugliest guy in the world and you only date size 0 blonde bombshells (an impossibility on an eastern European diet – and therefore not frum) Maybe size 4 is fat to you, I have a good friend who calls girls who are 25 pounds overweight morbidly obese, so interesting to check out girls with someone who finds everyone fat.
Now tell me people, do you actually want to deal with this crap? For Free? Does anyone expect shadchanim to be free? Yes you have these newlywed BaisYaakov girls who want to hook all of their friends up for the first few years they are married, until they realize how miserable they are and then try to convince everyone to date longer then 7 dates.
So the price in Israel for a shadchan is $1000 for each of the two parties getting married. The price doesn’t go up or down depending on how many girls/guys it took before you found the one – of course everyone knows that the Charedi system is much different than ours in that societal pressure dictates that if you aren’t married by age 19 you are seriously flawed and must go to internet cafes to look at porn (everyone does this – but its so much more sensational when Charedim do it and Vos Iz Neias loves to piss people off)
Apparently there are shadchaim with very high fees, the article talks about one that charges $10,000 and to me its more the luxury than anything else, she wines and dines you, gives you a massage and probably sponsors your wedding benchers with her ads. I heard about a shadchan on the upper east side that required you take her out to eat so she could see your people skills and manners, I would have failed miserably.
Oh and did I mention that working Charedi families pay more than yeshiva students. This sounds like a liberal agenda to me, kind of like taxing the rich and letting the poor go scot free, and of course people are wondering why the working boys have to pay more, but its really logistical – they aren’t as frum and therefore harder to set up, duh!
I still think they should outsource shadchanim to India!
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