I recently spent shabbos at some very religious friends of mine and I brought my friend along. The parents were quite taken with my friend and sure enough right after shabbos I got the dreaded shidduch phone call, I say dreaded because my friend gives off this yeshivish feel but really isn’t – he used to be – but with age he began to question the whole system of religion and finds himself at this existential questioning crossroads. But I couldn’t really tell these people that.
So I had to balance out two different topics, I first went with the “he’s really a bit more modern” then he looks type of argument. Of course the girl (who is always perfect mind you) was also a little more modern which meant she attends a movie once in a while.
I was so tempted to come out and say that in my buddy after years of repressed yeshiva life just wants to kick it at the bar and try and get laid, smoke a little weed and argue about Nietzsche and Kafka. So like all people in a bind I went the “modern” route. I find that making someone appear to be modern then they are usually satisfies people.
I should also mention that the phone call I received was started like this: Your friend reminds me of my friends father…therefore I think we should set them up!!! Freudian is what I initially thought and continue to think – but I do find it interesting to hear all the different shidduch thought logic that goes on. In this case it was that the girl wants to date someone like her father – and that she is very smart (because she is in Law School) below are some other logics that are dumb.
For instance, people always hook me up with “open minded” individuals, which makes me wonder if everyone else is closed minded. Then you have things like age compatibility which usually only has to do with the fact that this person thinks in age and nothing else. Height is a big one as well as job compatibility, sometimes I feel like I am at a job interview rather than a meat market.
Other shidduch posts: