What do you do when after a few long email exchanges and a few phone conversations you ask to see a picture and realize that you cannot get over your lack of attraction?
I think those of us in the dating field that live out of the New York metro area can relate to this more, simply because this tends to happen when you are having the pre-date hour long phone conversations and email exchanges.
Although I am against getting to know someone well over the phone and internet before seeing a picture, I have done this before and always felt trapped in a horrible situation. I always end up in one of two places – I either mull over it for so long that I forget about the girl and it ends up being one of those exchanges that just end…which in my opinion is a pretty crappy thing to do.
Or I end up forcing myself to have an “open” mind and go out with her. By having an open mind, I mean going through her facebook or frumster pictures until I convince myself that it can’t be that bad. This means ignoring the tagged pictures on facebook which always portray the real person and looking at their took this at a perfect angle to hide my extra 200 pounds pictures, which are known mostly as profile pictures.
But seriously people what’s a guy or girl to do? I feel horrible just rejecting a girl after seeing her picture, especially when we had spoken already. I also feel particularly bad if she’s not a looker at all, in which case she realizes immediately that I rejected her because of her looks.
I could always plead the “I don’t think its going to work” but wait until a couple of email exchanges after the picture. Or I could make up some excuse, but I hate lying and in fact have found the only way not to hurt the girls feelings is to go out with them and suck it up.
And if you are wondering, every single girl I have ever not wanted to go out because of the picture I was not attracted to.
Whats a guy to do?
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The brick wall of shidduch dating
Thoughts while I’m on a shidduch date
Overweight girl tries to convince bochur to go out on a shidduch date