Have you ever been Shidduch Date Raped?

As the title states about 50% of the dates I have gone on are forced, no I have not been date raped – although they should definitely come up with a similar term for “forced shidduch dates”. This issue is not plaguing me alone, for I meet people all the time who tell me they have a date, but they are just going on the date to please someone.

I’ll get off the phone with someone I just don’t feel is for me, yet the person who tried to set us up will go on a tirade which basically comes down to the age old shadchun marketing line of “but she could be your bashert” which comes flying out of her mouth making you feel really guilty. This of course is usually done by people who have never met me.

Then you have those who go out on dates to shut people up. These people just have to keep the cycle of forced shidduch dates up so that they can please their parents, rabbis and keep the shadchun from forgetting to send potential girls their way. I find it horrible that people should lead others on just to keep up with the status quo.

I know that some of you may give me that line that goes something like “you never know until you date the girl” or “how can you judge someone before you meet them?” and my response is that I can tell and I am almost always right. The forced dates always turn out the same way, they are always cool personalities – but not for me for multiple reasons.

Other shidduch posts:

Insane Shadchun Questions

What was the shadchun thinking?

The truth about shadchuns

Shidduch resume

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