Ridiculous halachic questions

I was sitting at a bar tonight drinking an ice cold glass of New Castle beer talking with a buddy about how people in the frum world give more respect for externals then internals (dress – not organs you idiots) that conversation combined with my foray into the craziness of the Yeshiva World coffee rooms, fueled the ideas for the following post.

I would also like to extend a special thank you to Perel Lubel from Queens who happened to on skype when I thought of this post and who provided many of the crazy questions that may seem crazy but have the potential to wind up on the forums page of yeshiva world news.

Crazy Halachic and Hashkafic Questions:

My parents daven at a modern orthodox shul with a treife mechitza, is it better for me to go and be kivud av and daven with a treife mechitza or is it better for me to stay at home and daven beyichidus?

Can I daven in front of a woman who is wearing crocs?

Can I daven in front of a man who is not wearing a double head covering?

My community has just instituted honor killings for women caught in despicable acts, is this halachically ok?

Is it better for bochrim to wear jeans or go on the internet?

Our table cloth is off-white, but the shadchun will only redd us shidduchim for our daughter if it is white, is it permissible to lie about this?

Does malchusay dina count for things like money tax fraud, since I am using the money to support shuls and yeshivas?

Is it loshon horah to tell on my rebbe who molested me?

Are girls considered untznius if they don’t wear button down shirts?

I grew up modern and went to NCSY until I was 10, I plan on learning in kollel after I get married. Is it really lying if I deny this part of my life? My parents have agreed to tell shadchunim that I was in learning mishnayis groups and attended siyuim mishnayus instead of NCSY conventions.

Why are red lips not painted another color to avoid attention?

Can I play Wii with my wife while she is a needa since our cars may touch each other?

Where did ladies who wear bikins and snoods get their heterim from?

Is it assur for me to hook up with my mother in law for shalom bayis purposes, there is no prohibition against women together is there?

If there are only male clerks in a store, is it permissible for me to ask one for help?

One of my brothers was adopted, can I talk to him?

If I am in an elevator with my mother is that yichud?

If there is no counter for my slam the change onto while I am working as a cashier, what should I do?

I find that I need make up on shabbos – does being in the shidduch crisis allow me a heter to make myself look pretty on shabbos?

If I am stranded on a desert island with members of the opposite sex- must I kill them to avoid breaking yichud? How would I kill them without breaking the laws of negiah? Could I eat a member of the opposite sex if I had nothing else to eat?

Can a man eat turkey breast? If so may he touch it with his actual hand or does he need to use a utensil at all times?

What materials are permissible to throw on shabbos if they are aimed at being mekarev apirkorsim? I am just asking because I heard rocks are assur now and we have mostly resorted to throwing fruit which may be considered baal tashchis?

Is it permissible to hack into a potential shidduchs computer to see if she has anything to hide?

Is it ok to order food in a restaurant where the male waiter actually looks me in the eye when he asks what I’d like to order?

When a woman breaks halacha by sitting in the front of the bus, what is the best way to teach her a lesson – feathering and tarring, beating or stoning?

Can we bleach a girl on shabbos for dressing unztnius or is that breaking the melocha of coloring, cleaning and squeezing?

If I get into a cab and the driver is of the opposing gender- should i ask to leave a door open?

If someone who doesn’t know the laws of negiah touches me – is it better to call the vaad hatznius or scream for the police?

Should I report my friends that do not keep shabbos to the bais din?

If I am going up a stairwell and meet a women coming down should I walk down and then go up when she leaves? Should I just keep going?

Can I go on an escalator while someone of the opposite sex is on it?

Can I invite my non-religious relatives or non-Jewish co-workers to my wedding?

If I have a medical emergency in Israel- but I don’t believe in the State of Israel- is it better to go untreated, then to G-d forbid go to a hospital that supports Israel?
Can I accept treatment from non-hatzolah paramedics?

Can I go to a barbershop where both sexes are getting haircuts?

Can I walk on the same side of the street as a woman if we are the only ones on the street and it is dark out?

If I need to go to the mikvah on shabbos, is it better to blow dry my hair then to have someone realize where i have just come from as that may be untznius and lead to inappropriate thoughts?

Can I tell my husband it is mikvah night before I come home because he may start planning ahead and have impure thoughts?

Is it inappropriate to look my mother in law in the face?

May I speak to my date after I have decided that he isn’t for me?

Can men wear red ties or is that too bright? Why do all the yeshivish guys I know wear pink and orange ties?

If my date walks into oncoming traffic but she may not necessarily be killed, can I grab her to prevent her from doing it?

Can a brother hug his sister? Can he speak to her?

Is wearing a red velvet yarmulke untznius?

Should I get breast reduction surgery because people can tell I have breasts no matter what I wear?

I work at empire and we were wondering if yeshivish people will buy more of our products if we took breast out of the name?

If my brothers friends are over should I leave the house?

Can I wear a dark gray or navy wedding dress since that is more tznius, or is there some need to wear white?

Can I make my husband wear a blindfold when we walk around since we live in Miami and there are many pritzusdicke girls?

Is it tznius for a woman to say shabbosdick or yuntiffdick?

Can I compliment my friends mother on her food or is that not tznius?

Can I tell my wife that she looks beautiful when she is a needa?

If I don’t participate in synchronized swimming tryouts do I have to shave my head when I get married?

Can a male doctor deliver my baby or should I hold it in?

Are red cars tznius?
Is my 3 year old son allowed to play with dolls of the opposite sex? Is he allowed to pla at all or should he just be learning all day?

Is it assur for my wife to leave the house when she is pregnant because nothing can hide the fact she is and then people will think about how she got pregnant?

What is assur to lie about on a shidduch resume?

Can I publicly rebuke my off the derech brother so he will come back on?

If my little sister dresses untzniusly but is frummer then I am in every way, are my shidduch chances ruined?

How old do I have to be to be allowed to join online dating sites?

Is joining frumster assur because not everyone wears a black hat?

My mother doesn’t cover her hair, can I tell my dates that she is the maid so they will not dump me?

What is the best method to help apikorsim see the torahs true light?

Can I whisper and point at a girl who is dressed immodestly to make her feel uncomfortable, so I don’t embarrass her in public?

I became frum recently; must I change my birth name to a Jewish name?

Is it better to wear a light colored suit with a hat to davening or stay at home?

Is my davening counted if a chabadnick davens for the amud?

If I wear a srugi with a hat on is that counted due to the fact that srugis do not have two head coverings?

If my wife insists on eating with me when we have guests is that grounds for a get?

Do I have to give my wife a get if she dresses immodestly?

If I get custody of my sons can they live in the same house with me or is that yichud?

If a Jew mentions that he works with non-Jews may I rebuke him for assimilating?

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Ridiculous shidduch questions

Are you an out of towner?

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Chumra research institute – with crazy chumras