Things that Modern orthodox people never say

I was just thinking last night that you would never hear a modern orthodox person say that his daughter was redd a shidduch or that his kids are in the parshah and that me thinking. I should compile a list of things that modern people never say – its not comprehensive by any means and I didn’t need it to be, its more an interactive post. I also thought of some things that modern people have started saying but sound stupid saying them. This has begun with the shift to the right within modern orthodoxy.

Things modern people never say

My daughter is in the parsha

Can I redd you a shidduch

What sugya are you learning?

The Eibishta

It’s a heliga olem

They are such an ehrliche family

Heimishe

He’s a geshmaka guy

He’s an ainekle of

The gansa mishpacha

Such mailos like you would not believe

Can you send me your shidduch resume?

He’s a modernishe guy

My daughter is busy (frum people love to talk about shidduchim unless their kids are dating someone – then God forbid they say they are dating – they just say they are busy)

My daughter is in shidduchim (similar to you saying you are in diamonds – but its not meant that she is a shadchun its meant that she’s in the parshah)

Rosh Yeshiva in one syllable which sounds like Roshiva

She’s very aidel

Ata zuy

She’s so shtotty

Instead of saying off the derech frummies tend to say Off The D or at risk

Things that Modern people have started to say but sound stupid:

I’ve been shteiging in Israel for the last few years

I dafka didn’t want it like that

Its mamish amazing B”H

He’s so shtark

What else can you add to the list?