Real Yeshivas have Chavrusa Tumults and Coffee Rooms

As much as you people think I know what I am talking about when it comes to the black hat yeshivish world I haven’t a clue, in fact even though I went to a chofetz Chaim yeshiva it really wasn’t yeshivish and it wasn’t anything like Lakewood. In fact I heard of two things that go on Lakewood which really opened my eyes.

Chavrusa Tumult:

I have never heard of this before but a chavrusa tumult is when people figure out what chavrusa they will have. You see Lakewood and other large yeshivas are really just big gymnasiums where people learn b’chavrusa without any real direction. In fact if you ask anyone who ever married a Lakewood Boy (frummies use the term boy not guy when it comes to shidduchim) or anyone to do with the place they will tell you the running joke that every guy in Lakewood is the “best guy” or boy shall we say.

So at the bgeining of the year I mean z’man, everyone hangs out outside of the beis medrish for two days and hocks with each other to find a chavrusa. I found this idea hilarious, but I guess when you have thousands of people how on earth are you supposed to find your chavrusa.

I am actually debating going to one of these Chavrusa Tumults just to check it out. It seems like a party to me, a bunch of yeshiva guys hocking with each other and using thumb dips to do it. Has anyone experienced this sort of event?

BMG has 4 coffee rooms:

I also learned recently that to save money Beth Medrish Gevoah otherwise known as BMG, recently switched from brand name coffee to generic and apparently they saved almost $200,000 – which in itself is an insane amount to be spent on coffee in the first place.

The four coffee rooms in BMG are where all rumors are said to be started as well, apparently its one huge game of telephone. Some guy will see one of the roshei yeshiva with a big donor and the next thing you know, the whole of Lakewood is talking about this event which never actually happened. The Lakewood coffee rooms are where the kings of hock hang out. Oh and I finally realized why the Yeshiva World News calls their gossip rooms the “coffee room”.

Chavrusa Breakup:

Just like breaking up with your long time girlfriend, chavrusa break up is a big deal in the yeshiva world. Sp big that Arey Kunstler recently wrote a song about which is available for download here. I guess I always write about the bans and craziness of Lakewood that I never bothered to figure out what the real Lakewood was about – greasy yeshiva guys with peyos behind their ears – shtieging day and night over gemara.

Imagine spending all your time with one guy (your chavrusa) and then having to say goodbye, it seems kind of sad, it also seems a little homoerotic dont you think?

Can anyone tell me what other weird or interesting events go on in the real yeshiva world?