Best ways to mess with BT’s during the High Holidays

Sequel to the original Best ways to mess with BT’s post.

Tell them that you cannot eat anything on succos resembling an etrog for fear of eating the actual etrog;

Tell them that they must not sleep at all on Rosh Hashanah;

Tell them to bow 5 times each time we do Alenu on Yom Kippur;

Tell them they must make an arbah minim salad after they are done with them, in order that the lulav and esrog will not go to waste;

Tell them to lean to the left while they eat in the sukkah;

Tell them that they must bang their hoshanos until all the leaves are gone to signify that all our sins will be gone as well;

Tell them to make a bracha each time they smell their esrog during davening;

Tell them that it’s a zechus to bid $613 for an aliyah;

Convince them that going to the bathroom is assur on Yom Kippur because it is pleasurable;

Tell them that at tashlich we begin to prepare for getting rid of our chometz;

Give them the lulav upside down;

Tell them to pull the pitom off right after they make a bracha on the four spices;

Scream with horror when you tell them their esrog is really just a bumpy lemon and they were screwed;

Tell them to do the rain dance when we pray for geshem;

Tell them that succos is a vegetarian holiday because we are trying to be one with the land;

Get them to read Megilas Esther instead of Koheles;

Get them to read Koheles to the tune of the Yardbirds song;

Tell them that during the aseres yimay teshuva is like Ramadan and you must fast every day to prepare for Yom Kippur;

Tell them that to keep the kids interested so late in davening its customary to run up to the kohanim during duchening and pull the talesim off and it’s a huge honor;

Its assur to spit on Yom Kippur because people may think you drank something;

Tell them that its assur to think about food on Yom Kippur and in the olden days people would get lashes for it;

Explain to them the sexual significance of lulavim;

Tell them that Chassidim use so many haddassim because it determines the amount of children you will have;

Tell them that after Yom Kippur they should check if they have a black and blue mark where they beat their chest to make sure they did proper teshuvah;

Any good ideas from you will be added to the list