Wheezing Shofar Blowers

It happens every year on Rosh Hashanah, I call it the wheeze, I also think its super embarrassing when you have this climactic stage in davening and suddenly the guy blowing shofar just can’t do it. Everyone is standing around saying “nu” under their breath- thinking that they can do a better job. I always wonder what the blower is feeling- is he thinking “damn I should have practiced more” or “jeez that orange juice I had with the kichel this morning is coming back up” – to me its like shofar constipation, nothing seems to work to get the blockage out and then suddenly relief, minus all the medicine.

I have never blown a shofar, I have smelled the inside of them though and its not too pleasant. But I have had the pleasure to enjoy many different types of blowers. The most efficient shofar blowing I ever witnessed was in Anchorage Alaska 2 years ago- the two dudes were totally fluid with no interruption- there wasn’t even any wheezing.

It happens to be that I always crack a smile and sometimes if its a little more of a serious place I start cracking up when the wheezing shofar starts- I just can’t help it. In fact during the most serious of times like musaf or something- I always start laughing like a nut. I think it has something to do with not being able to talk or more then an hour- that drives me nuts.