Jewish mother syndrome

Look I know the whole Jewish mother concept works across the board but is talked about much more ion the secular Jewish community rather then the orthodox. But besides for Jewish mother guilt and worrying, there is one part of the Jewish mother that is an across the Jewish spectrum issue, and that involves food and feeding. I am not talking about feeding in the breast feeding sort of way, I am talking about the itch and feeling that Jewish mothers have towards people never having enough to eat, or even eating at all when they should be eating. “you didn’t eat enough” is common whenever I visit my many Jewish mothers.

I do have many Jewish mothers, I attract older women, they love me- I’m dead serious. No it’s a sexual thing, I sure hope not because I have some good friends who happen to be women in their 50s and 60s. Not only do they part good advice, good food and constant offerings of their nieces who just finished seminary, but they are always full of good humor.

I don’t know exactly why, but its probably because my mother passed away when I was 6, but it wasn’t until college that I discovered a special affinity towards me by older women. I know I sound like a gigolo, but I promise its all about the food, advice and humor, although being a gigolo sounds kind of fun.

I do notice the worrying and the guilt with some of these women. In fact if I am ever not hungry, which is rare, but happens – I can tell they are hurt, as if their food isn’t good enough for me- which is never true, I love food its always good enough- besides for fish balls with toothpicks in them on a platter of jelly from the jar at shalashudos. (shalosh suedot) for all of the uninitiated folks of frummy slang.

I remember one time I came from a barbeque to visit my friends mom- whom I am better friends with then him (this happens quite frequently- I befriend the parents and become better friends with them then the kids) In fact I had a girlfriend like that, I really felt bad about breaking up with her because I loved her parents. So anyway I’m at this women’s house and she is visibly mad at me and herself for not being on top of her Jewish mother game because I am not eating. Of course I was just full, but she took it personal as do many Jewish mothers, when you don’t eat.

“Nu, what’s a matter with you- you’re a growing boy!”

Yes but only my stomach grows nowadays.

“Narishkeit, how do you ever expect to make your wife happy?”

Fine I’ll have something…what do you have?

It usually comes down to force feeding for me, its not too bad. Just swirl the food around your plate and when they aren’t looking dump it in the plants or in the recycling bin or something. I was recently staying at my buddies house and his mom told me she doesn’t cook anymore- I was disappointed because she is a kick ass cook, but she felt very guilty about not doing shabbos, I told her I’d come the next time she was going to cook- which was succos or something.