You cannot upgrade your wife once you take it off the shelf

I received this via email from Mindy F. and although some of you may find it cheesy, I enjoyed it.

Last year I upgraded from Bochur Life 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system Applications such as FarbrengenNight 3.0, Party Night 2.5, BaglesSnoozes 6.1 and Hangout 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

In addition, applications such as Garbage Out 3.3 and House Work 2.1 have gone from select-as needed to continuous schedule, ignoring them causes Night-on-the-Couch 1.0 to take over all activity.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications.

I am thinking about going back to BochurLife 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program.

Can you help me, please!!


A Distressed User

Dear Distressed User:

This is a very common complaint which is mostly due to a primary misconception.

Many people upgrade from BochurLife 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to BochurLife 7.0.

It is impossible to uninstall,delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to BochurLife 7.0 because Life1.01 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install BochurLife 7.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.

Look in your manual under “Warnings-Alimony/Child Support”.

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur,regardless of their cause.

The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.

In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal.

The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.

Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0.

I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.

Do not, under any circumstances, install OtherFriends 3.3 as a primary operating system.

This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Thanks for using our Tech Support.