As you may have seen on my facebook status I had a date last night. It was my first venture into the “I’m a real and settled women crowd” meaning she is over 30, in fact she was 5 years older then me. You couldn’t tell by looks because frankly I thought she was kind of cute- and very young looking, my fathers warnings of wrinkly thirty year old women who are ready to pump their faces with botox were not realized. I had an awesome time- although I think I was a little nuts.
You know how they say you have to put your best foot forward and you have to hold back, and try and be normal?
Well I have to be honest, I held back somethings but not matter how hard I try and be a little normal, less high energy shall we say, I can’t do it, I am a very energetic and very animated person- in fact this girl is on the shy until you get to know me, or more talkative one on one crowd- and I was on a roll last night. Even if they aren’t laughing at me- it doesn’t matter, I was in one of those moods where I was making comments to random people. Such as when we passed by these two kids playing rock, paper, scissors on the running path around the central park reservoir. I had to find out who won what- they were just deciding which way to go, long way or short way. So I was me- and some people can’t handle me- not saying that she couldn’t but I think it may have been a little much.
You know those times when you need to hold back but its really hard. Case in point, we were having a conversion about handshakes and the whole professional handshake between men and women issue. Suddenly I busted in and said that with all the nose picking during shul and usual lack of soap in shul I have gotten into giving people the fist- which by most is not understood and they just think I am trying to be cool- “I am too cool for the fist” its a cleanliness thing for me. Anyway- this girl terms this practice “fisting” now for the 26 year old boy in me, in a usual case I would have laughed for about 10 minutes and kept saying “so (insert frum girls name) what did you call this practice again?” but I didn’t and it was hard and almost unbearable, and I am sure many of you can relate.
Last night was also the first time in the history of my life that I was walking through central park in the early evening and was accosted by a random fan. Yes while on a date in Manhattan a fan of frum satire was walking the other way- and suddenly I hear my name called, the guy she was with is an old school upper west sider- but I had no idea who she was, she said her name and was dumbstruck for I have received correspondence from this girl/women before. It kind of sucked because I would have had a whole long chat if I wasn’t on a date- but I couldn’t so it was one of those awkward “hey wassup-shoot I’m on a date” but it did make me feel like a million bucks. It has happened in many places- but never outside on the street, very random!
We went for a piece of pizza and I have decided that one of the hardest things to do on a date is paying for the girl- nah I’m joking, I actually got my paycheck yesterday and felt that oldies song “another Saturday night and aint got nobody I got some money cause I just got paid” So the hardest thing to do on dates is chew with my mouth perfectly closed. I was only aware of this because I assumed, rightly so that she was more of a well mannered girl- you know one that uses knives and napkins. So I ordered an eggplant slice and I swear it was on record as the longest time it ever took for me to eat a slice of pizza. It actually completely un-enjoyable because I was concentrating on keeping my mouth closed that I completly forgot I was eating and felt like I was being tortured- I actually told my date this and she said that people who chew with their mouth open were one of her pet peeves. I am very honest with people- like the few times I have opened car doors for people- I have always told them how weird I felt doing it.
At the end of the date I was curious whether she wanted a second date or not- I was kind of in one of those “even if your not for me- your a very fun and interesting girl to hang out with” moods- but she did the classic THE FOLLOWING IS MEANT TO BE READ IN ONE BREATH LIKE HAMANS TEN SONS“I don’t want a second date- but I don’t want to tell it to your face- so I will let the person who set us up know and she will tell you like one of those cheery letters from the maghazine you are trying to get published in”
There were some interesting conversations on the date- I found out that not all frum girls are rabid right wing Republicans- and some are actually free thinkers- not to say that right wingers aren’t free thinkers, but usually I just hear quotes from Rush Limbaugh or something. We disagreed on some major issues- such as how the people who dress untzniusly or violate halacha are not orthodox- I completely disagree with this, because there are plenty of people who are religious- but Judaism is not an all or nothing religion. I feel that its unfortunate that certian blatant violations of halacha persist in the frum community- but to discount someone as unorthodox merely because she wears pants is a farse, in fact I was thinking of doing a whole post on pants- and how its high time for the frum community to start being more open minded about this issue. Just look at the psak they have about davening in front of a women with her hair uncovered- according to halacha a married women’s hair gets ervah status- although I prefer the real thing- and you cannot daven in front of a married women with her hair uncovered- well back in the day- the Rabbis said that since nowadays so many women do not cover their hair- its fine. Of course something like this ruling would probably not happen today- but still it is a somewhat progressive halachic stance.
Just to give you the diversity of our conversation we spoke of Central Parks designers, the founding of Christianity- and how all the saints were Jews, Gay marriage rights and philosophy, shidduch dating, how crappy frumster is, hiking, running, kayaking, family, movies, hatred of the upper wests side singles scene, singles shabbatons, food, and loads of other stuff I am sure I cannot remember.
If this sort of thing interests you and you’d like to go on a date with me- drop me a line- and no I wont write about it if you don’t want me to.