Charedim say that cookies may cause impure thoughts!!!

My friend called me up and pointed me to Chaptzem Blog– for what I am about to tell you.

I have been wondering when the fine folks from Charedi sects would come up with another ridiculous ban or chumra. I wait patiently every day for another concert ban or takana about washing your vegetables, but unfortunately there has been a drought recently, most probably due to the Lipa-Gate backlash. Well folks, thanks to someone from a Charedi community near you- cookies named after womens body parts have now gone through a name change.

The popular pesach cookie- Lady Fingers have recently undergone a name change and became Baby Fingers. According to many folks within the ultra orthodox community, referring to women’s body parts in such an open manner- outside of the mikvah or the Planned Parenthood office is assur. Hence the name change. Wikipedia article.

First of all, it is common practice for women to suck the gefilte fish jelly off their fingers while at kiddush- to get the attention of the men away from the cholent- so they may get some (no pun intended). Baby fingers however, are just gross, who the heck wants to eat a baby finger. After all babies never wash their hands, and are constantly eating their bugers.

I have heard several reports that the fine folks at the Chumra Research Institute- or CRI(look for a post this week detailing their activities) is going to be undergoing a massive food chumra operation- including the banning of all foods with women featured on the packaging, ande a posible banning of all products with Goyishe Names- such as Betty Crocker, Aunt Jamima and Sara Lee.

Certain foods may also be banned due to their shapes. Rabbi Frummerthenyou is quoted as saying “I have no idea how we can allow our benei and bas yisreols to continue to eat Hot Dogs, Creamsicles and Carrot Sticks- it is completely untznius”. I have also heard that foods like ice cream cones will have to eaten rather then licked. And that Hot Dogs will have to be eaten cut up to prevent any impure thoughts amongst men and women.

Childish Behavior has a great article about the lady fingers debacle.

Here is a list of foods being considered for chumra additions or complete banning:
Hot Dogs
Carrots
Celery Sticks
Bananas
Ice Cream on a cone or a stick
Lolly Pops (a conspiracy against the all powerful shul candy man)
Whip cream
Coconuts
Grapefruits
Melons
Strawberries (the almost succeeded a while back- but lost in the face of vegetable wash (the Lady Fingers fiasco- brings the case up again)

67 comments for “Charedim say that cookies may cause impure thoughts!!!

Leave a Reply