Why on earth would anyone live in Monsey?

So as some of you may know by way of the addictive Facebook, I am moving to Monsey. I know that many of my loyalists who remind me of those who elected Bush for his second term, have called me a sell-out for leaving my anonymous post in upstate NY for a more public and less “cool” residence in the Charedi kingdom known as Rockland County. But I have to work, get married and buy an overpriced mansion to house all of my books and bikes, so I decided to look for a full time job, landed one in Monsey for that manner and off I went on a new adventure.

This will be the first time I am living in a large orthodox Jewish community since I was 12. After attending 8th grade in Providence Rhode Island I whisked away to the great establishment of Chofetz Chaim in the image capital of the world otherwise known as Rochester, where entertainment revolved around ice fishing and hunting seasons as well as those daily run yeshiva bingo games. Our kosher food consisted of a deli that everyone “held” by, but that you needed to ask for glatt meat. Then of course I moved to Albany and for the last three years lived within the luxury of having kosher food less then two hours away. Never in my life did I imagine I would live in a big frum community with kosher restaurants, Chassidim and potential shidduchim. I thought I would conquer this earth singlehandedly from a log cabin in Montana, or at least somewhere that I considered “out of town.”

Now I know a lot of people are asking themselves how I can stand to move to such a place as Monsey, in fact I have received numerous emails asking me why I would put myself in such conditions and I have a few answers. There are many reasons why one would want to live in Monsey. Besides for the beautiful underage waitresses at the over priced “looks better then it tastes” Monsey restaurant the Purple Pear. Besides for nearly running over all the Chassids dressed in black standing on the shoulders of Maple Ave and hitchhiking, besides for the multitudes of twirling peyos Chassidic kids staring at me because I am wearing shorts in the summer and besides for the fact that Monsey will give me some great material to share with you people every day. I have one major reason I am moving to Monsey:

The proximity to hiking, biking and kayaking, DUH!!! I would never have lived anywhere but Monsey, well maybe Monroe, but that’s it. Besides having a 2.85 mile commute to work, behind the worst drivers in the country, I am located 10 minutes drive from Harriman State Park, 52,000 acres of trails, rock climbing, rural roads and lakes. Besides for Harriman, I have the Appalachian Trail running practically through my backyard. Multiple hiking spots within 30 minutes in the Hudson Highlands and a 40 minute drive to my favorite mountain biking spot in NY State.

I am already scheming about coming home from work, hiking into the woods camping out, cooking some dinner, waking up early enough to hike out and shower and then be at work the next day- all on a weeknight. Endless possibilities exist when you don’t care for TV or drunken nights grinding up on people you will never see again.

Of course the fact that Monsey will provide with an inside view of the frum community and allows me to expand the Blog are also things I am looking forward to. I would also like to hopefully try and do some standup shows, with me ranting for hours- if you know of anyone who’s interested they should email me. Oh and if there are any folks who read this and are located in Monsey I would love to meet up- in fact this shabbos is being spent with this guy who’s parents and him are a big fan of the videos- shall be interesting.