Why don’t they just ban women altogether???

Jacobs latest post has got me thinking, this perpetuation of the tznius patrol has gone too far. With the latest in tyrannical Rabbis beyond the letter of the law forcing their chumras on everyone else fiasco at the shietle store. He caved and I don’t blame him, but if people really cared they wouldn’t shop there and the free market would have taken over. My issue is this when will someone say, hey let the women have some freedom?

I have my theories, but my one theory that seems to be happening slowly but surely is this. At some point women will be banned from the public sphere. After all, many men merely think that women are only vehicles for reproduction and making the chulent- which seems to be made mostly by men anyway.

To ban women from the public sphere would be quite easy really. They have been banned from doing many things any way and there is a growing movement of women who want to wear burquas– though I think they only want to wear them to hide their I-pods and blackberries. Think about it, all women could merely work from home at any of those jobs located in the back of your local alternative newspaper or penny saver. You know the type “assemble CD cases from home” or “stuff envelopes” or medical biller” or any of those probably fake “I made 5k this past week from home” jobs. I am sure there is a market for some sort of home business within the charedi community.

How about streimel assembly or twisting the fibers to make gartels, maybe they can put the Ungers or Leibers stickers on top of the brand name products that they ensure have the extra hechsherim that many people feel they need. What about baby stroller assembly, big market for that, although it strikes me that with all the women at home- they may not wheel their kids around any more.

The problem with women being banned completely is that were next. The chumras wil switch to the men’s sections, because as well know, tyrannical leaders must appear to be busy at work conjuring great chumras and bans- because if they weren’t folks would be wondering what they paid them for. Its kind of like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, if their people figured out that getting out of the ghetto were best- issues may come up, such as these guys being out of their jobs.

Other issues with banning may come up, such as how to get the kinderlach to cheder and the maidelach to cooking and birthing breathing classes. If I can think of these ideas sure as hell those guys that know all of shas can. I have already realized that underground passageways will be built so no man, except for her husband may gaze upon her, regardless of how bulletproof her stockings and burqua actually were. This allows for grocery shopping, exercise and taking out the garbage. It allows the men to have the reign over the streets- where with all the gay protests and shabbos riots it is no place for a women.

Coming soon…a compilation of all my posts documenting the recent rash of charedi chumra patrol legislation.

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