Kiddush can be a rough place, if your not a seasoned pro, you may wind up with the pieces of kugel that could not be removed from the pan with the serving spoon and the scraps of cholent that are made up of burnt beans and the bones with nothing on them. If you lack the confidence to budge through the surging throng of people attacking the cholent for meat scraps with their flimsy plastic forks, you may not even get those burnt beans and pieces of fat, you may have to survive on sugar kichel and cucumber salad.
Many people do not know this, but folks with sever cases of self doubt or a lack of confidence in general can lead to a very poor Kiddush experience. People who lack the confidence to pile their plate right before or after the Rabbi makes his Kiddush, can be left in the dust.
Then you have the nice people, whatever you may think, the words free food, fress fest and Kiddush do not go together with nice. It may do wonders for your shidduch resume, but being a nice guy will get you nowhere in today’s market for free food, especially if it has anything to do with praying or listening to speeches before. Just like in yeshiva or camp, at a Kiddush the nice guy will just wait for his turn. Only problem is that at kiddushim, there are no such things as turns.
You can wait at the circular tray full of piping hot, not too crunchy luction kugel, but in the end its like trying to dig yourself out of quicksand, the more you dig, the more the dirt fills in around you. You can sit at the kugel table waiting for your turn and you know what? You will eventually wind up at the fish balls with the little colored toothpicks. Its all about force, you MUST push, and please know that when it comes to kiddushim all laws pertaining to negia and modesty are left in the sanctuary.
At Kiddush, you must grab your opportunity and if that means reaching through the plastic fork wielders with your bare hand and grabbing a piece of kugel or kishka or kichel without the serving spoon, then do it. Because while you are standing around with your full plate of hot foods trying to find the cool spot to place your hands, because getting a napkin to hold under the plate is just too time consuming, you will notice a whole contingency of nice girls and guys that are eating the cold food offerings wondering how everyone is eating cholent and kishka besides for them. You can have the last laugh at their herring and kichel, if you would just develop your confidence and be a little daring for once. Your stomach depends on it.