How to spot a gay yeshiva guy?

How to spot a gay yeshiva guy?

They are the only ones who enjoy the group mikvah;

They constantly emphasize the importance of daily immersion in the mikvah;

They mutter “never” under their breaths when learning the laws of nida;

You know those guys that “accidentally” touch your butt while dancing at a simcha and then apologize profusely;

“That was my lulav” you hear someone say from behind you during hoshanas, you have to point the lulav up or else you will mess with the tip- you think to yourself. Later you may wonder how he got his lulav to extend so low;

Guys who insist on watching those dorky yeshiva boys choir videos over and over again;

Did you just say that Shweky is hot???

They insist on using the pink version of the Shiloh siddur;

Yeshiva guys who wear gel or hair spray:

Did I just see that guy do a gay wave instead of a thumb dip to prove his point in shuir?

You can visibly see them shaking and crying when the laining that says being gay is an abomination is read:

They always seem to make a mistake and open up showers that are obviously occupied;

They are happiest on simchas torah, when they can get a lot of touch without being suspected of any impropriety;

They cheer on the Rabbis whenever they bust guys on talking to girls or looking at pritzus;

They claim shomer negia is their strong point;

You know those guys that insist on taking naked showers in the JCC

(in my yeshiva high school we used to go once a week to he local JCC and no one would take a naked shower- though later in life I did discover that there were several gay students) Unlike public schools, most guys do not get all naked in front of each other, unless they go to the large mikvahs- which freak me out.

They tend to have up to date news on all the mikvahs being built;

They keep a little guide to mikvahs, to make sure they don’t miss an opportunity to visit a new one;

They quote Rabbis Lanner and Kolko way too much;