A little belated, I know, but I had no time to put it up during the holidays.
Check out my other pickup line post for different sects within the orthodox community
I don’t know about you, but while I am clopping numerous Al Chaits all I can think about is how I am going to be able to clop the chest of that hottie across the mechitza. So how will you get in the pants/skirts of that hottie at your yom tov meal or during the drunken madness that we call simchat torah.
Can I dip my apple in your honey?
You can say a yehi ratzon on my seeds too;
I would crumble honey cake all over you;
I could lick you up like my grandmas tzimis;
I teach you how to blow my shofar;
You can blow more then a hundred tekias if you want;
I would compare myself to one of those double length shofars;
Don’t worry we have ten full days to repent what we do tonight;
I’d like to tear you apart like a breakaway challah;
I can clop your chest all day;
No leather, I have synthetic whips we can use;
Aim for the shoes, they are white anyway;
I’d open you up like I would open my machzor;
At least your kittel won’t become like the infamous blue dress;
I think you may have to clop double for what I want to do to you;
Would you like to shake my lulav?
Wow I never knew girls would be able to hold my lulav and esrog in one hand hand;
Would you like to come into my sukkah;
Its little tight but I have some room in my sukkah for you;
What do you say you sleep in my sukkah tonight;
Just like hallel, I go the full way;
How about I’ll be the shofar and you can blow me;
My esrogim are so smooth;
How about you give me a tekia gedola?
Just be gentle with the pitom;
Wanna play with my schach?
I can give you way more seeds then a pomegranate;
Doesn’t matter that your not a besula, I can still make a shechyanu;
You look sexy in those orange crocs;
I love a man who knows how to use his lulav;
You would be surprised where I can put that esrog;
Gay Holiday Pickup Lines:
I felt you poking me during hakafos;
Is that your lulav or are you just happy to see me;
Why don’t we bang hoshanos together?
Lets play the Noach and His Sons game;