Corny High Holiday Pickup Lines

A little belated, I know, but I had no time to put it up during the holidays.

Check out my other pickup line post for different sects within the orthodox community

I don’t know about you, but while I am clopping numerous Al Chaits all I can think about is how I am going to be able to clop the chest of that hottie across the mechitza. So how will you get in the pants/skirts of that hottie at your yom tov meal or during the drunken madness that we call simchat torah.

Can I dip my apple in your honey?

You can say a yehi ratzon on my seeds too;

I would crumble honey cake all over you;

I could lick you up like my grandmas tzimis;

I teach you how to blow my shofar;

You can blow more then a hundred tekias if you want;

I would compare myself to one of those double length shofars;

Don’t worry we have ten full days to repent what we do tonight;

I’d like to tear you apart like a breakaway challah;

I can clop your chest all day;

No leather, I have synthetic whips we can use;

Aim for the shoes, they are white anyway;

I’d open you up like I would open my machzor;

At least your kittel won’t become like the infamous blue dress;

I think you may have to clop double for what I want to do to you;

Would you like to shake my lulav?

Wow I never knew girls would be able to hold my lulav and esrog in one hand hand;

Would you like to come into my sukkah;

Its little tight but I have some room in my sukkah for you;

What do you say you sleep in my sukkah tonight;

Just like hallel, I go the full way;

How about I’ll be the shofar and you can blow me;

My esrogim are so smooth;

How about you give me a tekia gedola?

Just be gentle with the pitom;

Wanna play with my schach?

I can give you way more seeds then a pomegranate;

Doesn’t matter that your not a besula, I can still make a shechyanu;

You look sexy in those orange crocs;

I love a man who knows how to use his lulav;

You would be surprised where I can put that esrog;

Gay Holiday Pickup Lines:

I felt you poking me during hakafos;

Is that your lulav or are you just happy to see me;

Why don’t we bang hoshanos together?

Lets play the Noach and His Sons game;

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