So I went out on an interesting date last week, after the date we both did the awkward “so we’ll be in touch”. How long the phone call takes to materialize is dependant on whther the two parties want to see each other again.
My date was last Sunday night, I didn’t feel like calling her on tisha ba’av or after the fast, so I waited till Wednesday. It was obvious from my waiting that I was not going to ask her on a second date, as was the fact that she did not call me back first. Let me first say that this girl is the type to call back before the guy does and I love girls who are confident enough to take initiative.
So I called and left a message, then she called and my phone was off like it usually is, then phone tag ensued. The phone tag both answered our questions as to whether either of us wanted a second date. Ot is so obvious the girl wants a second date when they make damned sure they pick up the phone when you call. I was dreading the conversation anyway.
For me the most dread I have in regards to shidduch dating is the phone call afterwards. It is always awkward no matter what. Even if both parties feel the same, it just always puts a lump in my stomach. This time was no different. Phone calls in general in the shidduch dating field are always awkward. The first calls thoughts are always “how the hell am I going to start a conversation, what if she doesn’t talk, and so on… Then he second call to organize the date is a little less awkward, and then the big whammy phone call of after date comes and I just usually delay and delay until I can no longer stand it and just have to get the call out of the way. By the way, if the girl initiates with the second- before date call- it clears all awkwardness out the window, and blows down the walls of chivalry.
I finally reached the girl last night and we spoke for a few minutes, I then switched gears mid conversation and said “so on to the awkward part eh?” The response was met with her saying that it was great to meet me and she just didn’t think it would work out. I could see the angels dancing around my head screaming praise for my not having to reject a girl and hear her visibly hurt on the other end. I told her I felt exactly the same way, and did what I always do after the awkward rejection conversation.
I wiped my sweaty palms on my shorts, deleted her number from my phone and said Baruch Hshem.