The sick things people do to make it through a fast

So I am talking to my buddy about how our fasts are going and he tells me that its his best fast ever. Why might that be I ask? Well my buddy is a caffeine addict and he will inevitably ruin his fast without a high dosage of caffeine. This is normally covered by in the car thermoses filled with piping hot black stuff.

“So guess what I did about my caffeine problem?”

You injected yourself with some high potent form of the stuff?


You took some crazy hallucinative drugs to keep you high like Timothy Leary?


You used an insulin machine to regularly deposit some sort of non food like caffeine into your system at regular intervals?

Oh oh…I know, you wore a patch?

“To this he says, no man I shoved a caffeine seppository up my butt.”

Dude that is nasty was my first reaction and then, dont you need some sort of plunger to get it where it needs to go. I mean fingers can only reach so far.

“Well actually I originally thought I could put it between my cheeks. In fact when I walked into the store yesterday, the guy behind the counter seeing my yarmulke and look upon my face, smiled and knew exactly what had come for.”

Dude that is the grossest thing since that one scene from Brokeback Mountain that I had to duck behind my seat for. Indeed the mere thought of anything going in and not out is too hard for me to understand. I called up my doctor friend to ask him about the mechanics of this and he said that like a Listerine Strip on your tongue a seppository gets absorbed into the lining of the rectum.

Ewwwww is what I have to say, along with, people have got to try and not become dependent on anything like caffeine or you may have to resort to similar tactics.