So I sucked it up waited for the sale that I keep seeing in my mailbox and joined frumster a couple weeks ago. I tweaked my profile and continue to change it every few days- it was exciting to get back in the frumster groove. Before I knew it I had pretty much searched through every profile on the site and had to start with the keyword searches. You know things like outdoors, hiking, biking, art, organic, funky, wacky, weird, etc… Then I would type in things like fashion, shopping and hanging out with friends- to weed out unwanted mall type ladies- no offense. Now I am basically through with most of the profiles and just check every few days to see if I have any messages and who has been looking at my profile.
Being back on frumster is interesting I took a look at my 2 year old profile and realized that I matured quite a bit oddly enough, because I sure as hell didn’t think I did. Well I shortened it from one of those intimidating long profiles that people shy away from to a manageable few paragraphs- which is way longer then most profiles- I have some beefs with the site and with the members as I am sure we all do- since there are entire blogs devoted to bashing, praising and ranting about frumster.
I am not one of those people that expect an email back 30 seconds after I send a message to a girl. But to read the message and not reply or take 2 weeks to reply is absurd and not very considerate. I have sent many messages to fine sounding ladies, I can see if they have read it and when they read it I expect a prompt reply, why the wait. Don’t tell me it takes more then 20 minutes to write “hey I don’t think we are compatible(IE- you are a heinous blow pig)” or “hey I am drooling at the thought of hiking on our first date”. These don’t take very much time and please just say something- maybe your in the middle of something- well say so, just to leave folks hanging is real crappy.
I can completely understand if you were too cheap to pay the $11 a month and have no way of reading the messages. Look I had numerous messages waiting for me- 7 to be exact and mostly from the same people who never give up. That leads me to something else- so I get a message and the girl doesn’t seem my type so I kindly respond with the whole “your so hot, but I really think we are not compatible (which means two things- you are not hot or your profile sucked)”. So I understand if they try one last time like someone making one last prison break attempt, but one time is it.
Well for some reason I attract the weirdest of the weird, and its not always a good thing. A few girls repeatedly sent me more messages after I had rejected them many a time. Two girls have been sending me messages for the past few years through my two stints on frumster. I really don’t want to resort to the childish thing of blocking- but what’s a guy to do?
I have written about the lack of good hearty profiles on frumster and believe that it has something to do with the lack of character in society itself. People generally are boring- or maybe I am just a hobby snob and expect everyone to have interesting likes and activities. I am not expecting lists upon lists of description- but at least some differentiation between the profiles.
I don’t understand why people continually write what their friends think of them. “My friends think I am kind, caring, attractive, funny, smart, etc…” OF COURSE THEY DO no one in their right mind is going to write that they have more chins then a Chinese phone book, ooze puss out of their belly buttons and eat their boogers. No one is going to write that their friend’s say they are dumb bastards who couldn’t care less if someone was getting run over by a lawnmower gone haywire. So why cant people use different lines and write about their real personalities? These regular catchphrases don’t set you apart from the 10,000 other girls.
No one seems to have any interests anymore, is “hanging out with friends” really considered a hobby? Maybe since no one does it anymore and prefer to be texting and listening to crappy music on I-pods. Maybe since people literally sit around all day and do nothing wasting away precious hours of life in front of the TV and computer that they consider doing anything a hobby. Shouldn’t a hobby be some sort of skill or interest that is unique to you, what happened to diversity?
I happen to like frumster way better then its chief competition and I will tell you why. On saw you at Sinai- they have set boxes for hobbies and family situations etc… So even if you actually have no interests and consider playing with your moms sheitle holders a hobby- you have to pick a number of hobbies. That’s where the choice for “bike/skateparks” comes in. Through my years of research I have come across very few girls that have actually been to or even know what a skate park is. I personally thing all of this should be filled in by the person themselves- this way we don’t have this set type of person where the only way to judge if they are good for you is based on the three sentences they write at the end.
Now I know that many of you will comment that I am being way too judgmental and basing things solely on hobbies is wrong. I will have to agree with you, but as any person in a similar situation as mine (there aren’t too many) will tell you, the things we do are actually a much bigger part of it then meets the eye- like transformers but better. Most people aren’t like that and everyone has different opinions on the shidduch process and this is mine.