I have decided that the more shidduch dates I go out on, the lonelier I get. It may just be the fact that the dead of winter is upon me- and my bikes gather dust as I sit and long for them and their happiness they provide- or maybe the fact that my ski season was cut short by two months- but these last few weeks I have been lonely.
I have been out with 6 girls in the past month or so and notice that with each date I get lonelier. They all take the same route, shadchun or friend reads proposed girl to me- she sounds amazing, I call her up- either it goes great or terrible- its never mediocre. Then I go out with them and it either goes great or terrible. Then I get the rejection a couple days later, usually I wanted to reject anyway- but you see the problem is when you are the rejected one you feel all the more worse. If you are the one rejecting the girl- you feel like the load if off your shoulders- but once you get rejected you start to think that maybe she wasn’t so bad after all.
Only one of the girls in the last 6 was that bad, she was the best on paper, in theory, based on interests and hashkafa- but based on her boring personality all theory was thrown out the window. The other girls all had amazing personalities- looks well that may not be the best- but I never deny a girl a second dates based on looks- its a my philosophy. Looks to me are a distant second in importance to personality.
I have just found these days when I get into the routine of going out once a week or so- then suddenly the wells dry up IE no more prospective dates, I go into depressed lonely mode. Like I am never going to meet anyone etc…- which I am sure many of my readers can relate to. Then I debate joining frumster, going to singles weekends and hanging out in Washington heights a little more.