Sexually active folks who shidduch date

So I was talking with a Rebetzin friend tonight and like all people we started talking about sex. Not how my friends and I would speak, but more of how she taught her kids about the mikvah, why they couldn’t date at 15 and about sexual topics in a way that I wish more frum people would do. We got to talking and I mentioned that I personally know of very few people my age (25) who are still virgins. I am talking about guys and girls I will have you know. It just seems that though most of my friends are what someone would call “frum”, they were at one point or still are sexually active. Is this normal? Are me and my friends just a bunch of nutjobs, or within the frum community are most singles sexually active. Let me say further that we are not part of the “modern singles” community of the Upper Westside. These are mostly folks that learn b’chavrusa every day, daven with a minyan and eat 100% kosher. We could call them 612 mitzvahdox as I have coined in a previous post.

While I know this is somewhat common in the frum community especially after folks get engaged, I have a serious problem and this is the-venting portion of the pos- with guys and girls who go out on shidduch dates with the tachlis of getting married while they are not shomer negia. I hink this is misleading and wrong. I think that for someone to be in the condition of shidduch dating they must have sworn off sex and other activities for a good enough portion of time to consider them “rusty” it boggles my mind how folks can mislead contless people who think they are frum and willing to settle down when just a few weeks ago they were shtupping random girls they met at shull, an oneg, or in a bar.

Not Cool people!!