What was the shadchun thinking?

What the heck was the shadchun thinking? I wonder this as I sit across from my date and have absolutely nothing to say, absolutely nothing in common with and absolutely different outlooks and hashkafos. I sit crunch on my ice, smear the half eaten mashed potatoes on my plate or just let my eyes wander to the other diners in the room. Fortunately this has not happened many times on a date. Usually I can discover that the shadchun was out of her mind before actually driving a few hours to go on the date.

It usually starts with the pre-date phone call that reveals the shadchuns insanity as well as used car dealer like attitude. Once the car is off the lot it is your problem not theirs. Same to with shidduch dates, once they have that phone number written down, the shadchun can go focus on other “deals” and not worry about you until its time to discuss how the date went. Unfortunately for the shadchun I play a different game and do not adhere to traditional shidduch dating protocol. If the phone conversation sucks and reveals severe flaws in the possibility of a good shidduch, the shadchun gets a call from me voicing my complaints. They can range from nothing in common to the extreme situation of setting me up with someone who is a complete opposite.


It is true that I am hard to set up, my insanely open and talkative personality coupled with my eclectic interests can be daunting, to say the least. Usually the girl/guy wants someone “normal” I always ask for someone weird, interesting, eccentric basically out of the box or off the beaten path. I tend to be set up with girls who have amazingly cool parents and siblings, but for some reason the girl who I was set up with always sucks. I have figured it out that shadchuns assume the girl will be cool and my type if her parents are of the interesting variety. I have been set up many a time with girls who’s parents are PhD types due to my intellectual mind, yet the girls themselves are usually lacking. This has happened on quite a few occasions. I ask myself, what in the world the shadchun was thinking, and then realize that the shadchn was basing the whole match on the girls parents without ever speaking to the girl. Sometimes, it just has to do with the girl being weird, just because she’s weird and having trouble finding an interesting guy doesn’t mean she and I will click. I recently went out on a date with a treky, enough said.

This past Monday night I went out on a date and I finally got to go to the supposedly trendy Makor that I hear so much talk about. Yes Makor had very good fish and chips- way better then the traditional I-hop or Perkins variety, but trendy, definitely not, well maybe it was if overpriced dinners are your thing. Anyway, I was able to immediately determine why I was set up with this girl, whom if she ever picks up her phone I would love to date again. Anyway, I felt that for once I was able to put my hand on why the person who set us up chose to do so. No, we didn’t have much in common, but this is not of utmost importance, but yes, we did have great fun conversation and our similar personalities made the date worthwhile- besides the $35.30 I dropped down- which I deem to be way to much for someone like myself. It’s a shame its cold out, because normally I am all for the walk through whatever local park you happen to be near, a long hike even better.

Does this happen to many people? Do many of you go out and wonder why you were set up in the first place? I feel that folks when they meet for a date should immediately have an inkling as to why they were set up even if they don’t like each other. But to have no clue as to why the shadchun would do such a thing, this is uncalled for.