Guns and Moses plays Sinai Stock

Please note the following was written for a kiruv newspaper to be handed out to secular Jews- it is not meant to poke fun at biblical events.

Concert Review: Sinai Stock Music Festival

The first ever Sinai Stock Music Festival was reminiscent of other festivals for its scenery and wilderness experience. Held in the beautiful Mt Sinai Desert region this festival was anything but normal. I arrived upon the seen and swear that there must have been at least 600,000 men there alone not including the numerous women and children roaming the massive concert venue.

The headliner of the day was the stoner rock band Ten Commandments with special guest Guns and Moses. It was said that the venue was quite small for there were so many other stages of grandeur size, yet when Guns and Moses came out onto stage he immediately looked out to his surprise to find that another stage had been set up by the Satanic rock group the Golden Calves. He immediately dropped the Ten Commandments off of the play bill and some folks even saw them break up.

I was merely on the sidelines watching the whole frenzy chilling with the Levi Jeans people who were the main sponsors of the event. Not wanting to breach their contract with Guns and Moses, they didn’t join in on the mosh pit at the Golden Calves show. Boy were those Golden Calves putting on a show, fire was everywhere and it looked like gold was flying into and out of the pyrotechnics show. Unbelievable man, I was mamish shvitzing from all the action that when the lead singer for Guns and Moses canceled the Ten Commandments show I almost fainted with disappointment. Luckily I wasn’t in the pit, for those satanic rockers all looked to be dead. Maybe from all the heat and excitement or maybe from the thunderous roar of Guns and Moses the rather loud hair metal band taking the stage and announcing that the Ten Commandments will not be plying Sinai Stock that day.