Instant oil change

So once a month usually a little late I have to bring my car in for its 3000 mile oil change. I used to just bring it to my mechanic- but since I live in a city without a close Jewish mechanic I go to the dreaded “instant” oil change shops. You know Jiffy Lube and Valvoline that promise the 15 minute oil change but never seem to get it done in faster than 45 minutes no matter how many cars are in the bay.

Was it luck or was G-d sending me a sign? I don’t know but when I pulled in this morning the oil change place was void of other instant oil changees. I was over joyed and decided I would time them to see if they sat around scheming on what they were going to tell me was wrong with my car or if they would try and sell m a new fuel filter because I would get way better mileage with a new one. The mileage thing is interesting, because back in the day a mere 4 or 5 years ago when gas was $1.13 a gallon no one gave two shits about what kind of mileage they were getting. 10 miles a gallon, wow that’s great man, well now one would think that us folks started caring about every little gas savings we could scrounge up. Like changing our filters and engine treatment which I think makes things worse and all those other things to put in some Orpheus in your car that says treatment or flush on it. A two minute walk down the aisle at Advance Auto Parts or Auto Zone will reveal a cacophony of condiments for your cars engine and transmission and cooling systems. It reminds me of the mustard aisle at any local grocery. Stacked high from floor to ceiling you can find any kind of mustard you want with all different effects, different kinds of meet need different kind of mustards just like different kinds of engine treatments. Well I guess I’m the type that loves all these different mustards but for economic purposes I like using one- honey mustard- the versatile mustard, as with treatments for my car- I never use any. I am of the school of thought that says “if it aint broke don’t fix it” I find that every time I put some digestive system stuff into my engine it unclogs things and springs leaks- when normally they are clogged up.

So I am sitting in my seat reading Tanya #35 and start thinking about the whole concept of giving your car that holds you and your family inside its so called safe cocoon of steel and plastic to some guy you wouldn’t trust to watch your laptop while use the bathroom at a coffee shop. Maybe it’s the blue collar, greasy, man look or just a general feeling of uncomfort with mechanics who control your life in their hands but its funny that we give some random guy without a back round check. Kind of like making sure teachers of your children or day care counselors were never convicted of sexual misconduct. You know the safety of your child lies in the hands –no pun in intended- of these people. Well so to with mechanics- you bring your car to some random guy who may not know anything- because hell if your going to pull some freedom of information act on some oil change dude. I would say the ultimate trust is placed in mechanics, you see mechanics have some sort of liability but its hard to prove anything was their fault. Maybe you just drove too fast and that’s why all your wheels fell off and you and your whole family went off the cliff in your Escalade. How can your prove that some mechanic didn’t toque the bolts the right way- maybe you did it.

So I was thinking about all this stuff as I sat there for 15 minutes waiting for my car. You know what happened at the end of 15 minutes? For the first time in my life besides in Northern Maine lat year – I had an instant oil change.