Who Deserves Out of Town Status?

I have decided a rant about the so called title “out of town” is in order. Until about two years ago I never even heard the term, but the more I immerse myself into the wacky world of trying to garner shidduch dates the more I hear of this term. You know she’s not your typical New Yorker she’s out of towny, or you know she’s from Baltimore she’s from out of town. Or you know since she’s from Staten Island she’s way different than those folks across the Verazano bridge – oh 3 miles makes a big difference – or maybe since the damned thing costs 9 bucks to cross they tend to live on a isolated strip of land only accessible to those willing to ride their bikes or walk across the bridge. Well I have had enough with the out of town labeling.

I have decided to consider anyone who lives on the East Coast within a 30 minute drive to a kosher restaurant not to be deserving of the “out of town” status. Since this status is given out to all those people that live in Baltimore, Boston, and Monsey without notice of whether they actually have an out of town attitude – of which I have decided is almost impossible on the east coast or almost anywhere in the Eastern Time Zone.

Is Monsey out of town? NO, Is Baltimore out of town? NO, Is Monsey out of town? NO. Here are my new observations of what characteristics people with an out of town attitude should have.

An utter appreciation for being able to sit down in a kosher restaurant and eat a meal, not just donuts and ice cream. I used to drive 3 hours for a simple slice of pizza, I used to stop at all the skate parks along the way but it is a 3 hour drive from Rochester NY to Toronto for some kosher food. Those who live in towns or communities that their closest experience to a restaurant is Friendly’s Ice Cream, Krispy Kreme Donuts or the local kosher butcher that not every one holds by since they tend to sell Hebrew National and Bests meats along with Empire and Rubashkin. A true out of towner looks forward 2 weeks in advance to the first bite of chicken and broccoli in a kosher restaurant, a true out of towner relishes in the eating process knowing they will not be able to en joy the kosher experience for another 2 months, a true out of towner stocks up on frozen meats and other frummy delicacies such as paskes candies and super snacks because they know it may be another 3 weeks till someone is driving into a large Jewish community. A true out of towner goes ape when they see frum girls in skirts on the street. A true out of towner gets all warm and fuzzy inside when they have the ability to go to shull and have a minyan at any time. A true out of towner excites at the possibility of ongoing shiurim at any time of day. A true out of towner has no idea how to parallel park and when traveling to New York City they do not take their car. A true out of towner does not fit in large frum communities and feels weird in them.

Anyway I just feel that location should not designate out of towner unless they live in lrge frum communities that are isolated. For instance Denver located at least 600 miles from the nearest large frum community can be considered out of town. Or maybe Winnipeg who’s closest frum community is 500 miles in Minneapolis.

But places like Baltimore or Cleveland can hardly be included in this lofty out of town status. They feature multiple Jewish schools, multiple kosher eateries, bakeries, grocers, etc… What exactly is the community at larges take on this out of town thing anyway? I shall also take on the other labels and boxes we tend to dump everyone in according to our judgments at a later point. Thank you.