Why I cant watch TV

So there I was droopy eyed, almost asleep, yet I couldn’t turn it off. It was like a drug that wouldn’t let me down. Absolutely nothing of interest was on, I had to up at 6:30 the next morning for work and I was dead tired, the lords of the television would not let me pass from their clenched tentacles. The more boring the shows became, from old episodes of law and order to those late at night Chuck Noris infomercials trying to sell you the Bow Flex or Nordic track or even those time life memories adds for 150 songs on 8 cd’s for just 3 easy installments of $39.95, then I had to endure the pasta pot commercial when they offer you thirty free gifts for ordering within the next 30 seconds.


I was comfortably sprawled out on my hotel bed in
Rock Hill NY after a long day of work, riding my bike and trying to drive without going in sane from the Sullivan county transplants who have no idea why they invented shoulders. I looked forward to eating my dinner going to shull and coming to my hotel to sleep a good long sleep. But no, it was bound to happen, you sit there and wonder if you can catch the tail end of Seinfeld or The Simpsons or maybe there is some good news from
Israel. And BAM your sucked in and cant let go, the remote is glued to your sweaty palm and becomes your prosthetic arm.


Every time this happens I remember back to the early 90s when I used to watch over 8 hours of TV a day. I was a true addict like any kid was. Who could miss saved By The Bell or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, or even Knight Rider and McGuyver. Oh those were the days, TV was so entertaining, even though my old man strictly forbade MTV Baywatch and 90210 we still got to see those shows when he was at work.


Then I turned 18 and moved out, and for some reason maybe it was 4 years of sleep away yeshiva that did it or maybe it was my active lifestyle but for one reason or another I gave up TV. Since then I have never owned a TV, many of peers wonder how someone can go so long without the bube tube. It wasn’t hard its actually been a natural progression to the point of disdain for TV. Why not a bookshelf and a record collection adorning the center of the living room instead of that zombifying box of which education may come out once in a while but most of the time its annoying teeny boppers and reality shows that are the farthest from reality possible. I always wondered why if people had 1000 channels and TIVO that they could still sit and complain that there is nothing on. Dude you can skip the commercials and rewind prime time shows, jeez we humans love to complain.


You may be able to remove the TV from  my life, but man if you put one in front of me its like the twilight zone, I am a pure zombie. I even enjoy CSPAN and watching the constant stream of WW 2 stuff from the History Channel. I just cant shut the damned thing off. Maybe its natural for someone who has no TV and has so much disdain for it to be a TV addict and that’s why I cannot own one. Or maybe its just because I want to be an anti-conformist and have no idea about Hurricane Katrina and the recent war in
Israel until a week or so after their beginnings. Weird isn’t it how out of the loop you become without a TV.


So there’s my tirade about why I don’t own a TV, and its full of shmutz.