A sincere thank you to KYO Steakhouse in Monsey

There I was gazing at the menu contemplating my selection from the overpriced steaks and other Japanese favorites. I was just here last week, and it wasn’t so good, I thought, as I searched through the meat section. Subtle differences between the steaks had me constantly debating, teriyaki steak or char grilled? Life is full of tough decisions, this actually wasn’t too tough since it was free. Last week it was out of my pocket this week, I was in travel status so my work is allotting me $44 a night for food in
Rockland county, don’t you love the government.

All of the sudden it jumped out at me, kind of like when you stare at one of those 3D cross eyed puzzles, in a small grey box meant for specials, it stated “meat bento box” Steak, Dumpling, (dumpring if your Asian) veggie tempura, soup and salad. Oh and for only 32 bucks that left me 12 bucks reimbursement.

After finishing my power washed salad made of wilted dole lettuce and one mushroom slice, and my pre-cooked miso soup with 3 very small chunks of tofu, I would actually call them soup pulp rather then chunks they were so miniscule. Suddenly appearing in front of me unbeknown to because I was busy checking out some girl trying to see if it was a fall or just a head band, my food appeared. I had missed its grand arrival due to my staring at some frummy who was for sure married like they all are. I was back my eyes were locked on the orgasmic insanity that lay before my already salivating glands. My glands had temporarily shut off due to the dole salad and my expectation of typical frummy food. But no they were back at full force ready to lube up my esophagus for the onslaught of nourishment.

A small wooden tray with a bunch of cubbies so to speak filled with more food then had imagined or prepared my stomach, why had I wasted such precious stomach space on miso broth and dole lettuce? I kicked myself and then dug in. Dead center was the small but juicy piece of steak smothered in teriyaki sauce with some fries vying for this prime real estate on the right side of the steak. On the right we have, I felt like a boxing announcer doing the introductions, veggie tempura- golden fried veggies- carrot, string beans, eggplant, and zucchini all golden fried in thick pale batter. Oh and don’t forgot the lightweight champion beef and onions on a skewer, unexpected but very welcomed, Where’s my flied dumpring I thought to myself as I gazed at the opposite end of this pleasing spectrum, two fried wings sat on the side of a chicken maki role, seaweed, rice and fried chicken rolled into a kick any “fish sushi” butt any day of the week role.

My paralysis kicked in to play as I started what I have termed my personal Power Shovel. I can be slow or fast depending on the task. This task called for medium speed, gently savoring the exotic dipping sauces with each item but quickly getting it into the hole other wise known as my mouth. I felt my stomach begging for mercy as the shovel pounded away. In my madness a lot of food and sauces were flying dripping onto my napkin guarding my shorts on my lap and onto the wooden table, so that’s why these tables are so sticky I realized. I wondered if the other diners were having as good of an experience as I was having. Probably not, dreading the nine days that started tomorrow and probably not getting this meal free, but rather using it as a way to make up for a fight with the wife or hubby, who knows maybe they just weren’t as food crazy as myself. My head was bobbing and I kept mumbling to myself how rockin’ this food was. I turned to the two Asian men at the sushi counter and gave them the thumbs up and said that this food was amazing. I was imagining the table in front and behind me wondering what was so good about the food. Kind of like that scene from When Harry Met Sally, yes you all know the scene I am not repeating it.

“Yankele what do you think he’s having?”

“I don’t know Sprintze but I’m gonna ask the waitress”

Maybe the owners were happy at my glee because it was $32 after all and many people wanted to feel like me. Or maybe some of the conversation went as follows.

“Hey Blimi vuts vit dis guy, cant we just
essen in peace”

“He probably just got out of jail or something like that”

Well as fast as it began it ended, my meal was paid for and I sat in my hot car seat satiated and completely satisfied. It wasn’t like Dougies where you knew in 30 minutes to grab a newspaper and head for the hills, this was prime beef and good food. I would be spared till the morning, and would be able to read the next day’s paper as I waved the one of the best meals I have ever had good bye.