As you can see I am not really writing anything this week - I am in transit so until I settle down I will post my lazy stuff. I have loads of post ideas, just been busy with the move. I write to you from a kosher pizza store in Dallas where I just scarfed [...]
Do you suffer from megillah attendion deficit disorder?
November 17th, 2008 · 2 Comments
What is your hagba/gelilah radius?
November 13th, 2008 · 3 Comments
The Hagbah/Gelilah Radius
By David Sheril
Situation: Gelilah
You: Week before your Shabbos Bar Mitzvah.
Shul Demographic: All your parent’s friends + guests who’ve arrived early.
Distance of Pursuit: Within the main shul and hallway. Even if you’re in the upstairs Ezras Nashim, they’ll send up that old guy who just barges in to get you.
Rationale: “Just a reminder [...]
Tags: shul
Have you ever davened in a phone booth
November 12th, 2008 · 26 Comments
There used to be this story in yeshiva about a guy who was davening in a phone booth at the airport, and all these people were standing around wondering what he was doing because it said out of order. Davening in phone booths is the classic thing to do, unfortunately the phone booth has become [...]
Tags: davening
8 people (almost) every shul has but shouldn’t
November 5th, 2008 · 31 Comments
I met David Sheril the other night at a fans house. He is the type of guy who I want writing posts for me and this beauty of a post proves why - I hope he can bust me out some more. For now - enjoy!
By David Sheril
The 140 Decibel Davener:
I was always taught that [...]
Tags: Frum Satire · davening · food · kiddush · shul
I saw Barack Obama in shul
November 1st, 2008 · 28 Comments
Not really but I witnessed someone in shul trying to use his economic policies as a way of controlling some children’s candy profits from an uf-ruf.
Upon walking into shul in Baltimore, I witnessed a young married guy with a kid in hand forcing 5 young kids with bags of candy to spread the wealth. His [...]
Tags: current events · davening · elections · shul
Funny thoughts I had this shabbos
October 25th, 2008 · 15 Comments
Frummies love to say “come have a mezonos” instead of “here eat a cookie” or “how about a pretzel”.
One of my fans pointed out to me that God first lined up the animals in front of Adam before creating Chava because before finding your bashert you have to go out with dogs, cows and [...]
Tags: Modern orthodox · Monsey · shabbos · shul
Hoshana Rabba Hilarity
October 20th, 2008 · 4 Comments
We shake our lulavs for 7 days straight and then we bang our hoshanas for 3 seconds. I thought of that while I was banging my hoshanos this morning and thought it to be pretty damn sexual, that the climax of the holiday lasts a full of 3-7 seconds depending on your age. Pretty sick- [...]
Tags: Frum Satire · Lubavitchers · davening · shul · sukkos
How do you shake your lulav?
October 13th, 2008 · 11 Comments
So there you are standing in shull about to shake your lulav and boom you notice the guy in front of you shaking it a different way then you tend to shake, sizing him up quickly with his gray beard and black hat you decide that he is probably more knowledgeable then you in these [...]
Ever do teshuvah on the plane?
October 6th, 2008 · 32 Comments
I used to fly back forth from yeshiva quite a bit, flights were cheaper then the train and every time we had an out shabbos quite a few of us yeshiva guys- sometimes filling more then half of the small planes that flew between Rochester and New York.
The planes we tarveled on were almost [...]
Tags: Rosh Hashanah · Yom Kippor · davening · shul



