Bain Hazmanim Chronicles – Part 3

Dear Devoiry,

Thanks for the food you sent back with me, it makes all the difference; as much as I like going to Glatt Gourmet and Kosher Taco, we really can’t afford it (seriously, it’s like $18 without a side dish!).

Thank you also for doing all the laundry for me, I know it’s not easy to do it in the bungalow colony on Sunday when everyone’s fighting over the machines. The men want to get out, the women also want the men to get out and it was Erev 9 Days to boot, so I really appreciate it. [click to continue…]


The Secret Formula to Life

stock-photo-11462054-sad-man-with-coffeeLife isn’t always easy. For me, I see life (as an adult) very similar to how I see coffee. It’s rough and bitter and boring, and everyone else seems to love it and be comfortable doing the same bad thing and look forward to it and even spend large amounts of money getting even darker coffee for reasons that don’t make sense to me. [click to continue…]


Bain Hazmanim Chronicles – Part 2

Dear Shragi,

Thanks for your email; I’m very glad you sent it because I ended up being too busy on Friday to speak on the phone so at least I got an update. (Don’t ask!! My mother sent me shopping in Fallsburgh and Walmart and it was crazy!! The lines were out the door!!!)

I also can’t wait till we go to Lake George; it’ll be after Tisha B’Av so there will be minyanim there. But I’m worried about the shopping you did for the trip, I don’t want Malky knowing that we bought a tent, it’s so nebby and she’ll tell the whole neighborhood. Was she sitting on her steps when you came home? How did you bring it into the house? Was it in a big bag? I’m really worried. Please be careful. [click to continue…]



Dear Berish,

Don’t worry about it, really, you’ll be fine.




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Bain Hazmanim is in the Air

Dear Devoiry,

There’s only three weeks left to the zman and we’re rushing to finish daf daled amud alef.
I’m glad you decided to go to your parents’ bungalow till the end of the zman, because what else would you do with the kids? When we go to Lake George after the 9 Days we’ll finally be able to spend time with the kids.

I plan on doing all the shopping for that trip tomorrow because my chavrusah is going to be away, he said he has a doctor’s appointment but I think he’s going to Manhattan with his wife. [click to continue…]


R’ Joel Teitelbaum spearheaded modern anti-Zionism, which is still alive today among some cave-dwellers, most notably in the groups led by his two great-nephews. The two nephews take time out of their weekly litigation schedules, where they’re locked in battle over who gets the title of chief caveman,  to attack Zionism in the tradition handed down to them by their uncle.  Who, having no brother to battle in court, had more time in his day for anti-Zionist rants. Toward the end of his life R’ Joel wrote a Der Yid paperback bestseller called Mein Kampf Gegen den Zionismus where he outlined his vision for a utopian Jewish future where all Jews would leave Israel and move to his new enclave in Monroe, NY.

But earlier this week, nephew Aron Teitelbaum minimized all of his uncle’s hard work by reducing the sin of Zionism. While the Jewish world mourns the murder of three Israeli teens, the Aroini faction of Satmar mourns its chief’s shockingly lowered standards. [click to continue…]


hobby-lobby-500In the three years since the Supreme Court’s decision to allow Hobby Lobby to exempt itself from including contraceptive coverage for its employees, based on their professed religious beliefs, closely held Jewish corporations have used the court’s logic to allow themselves to steal from non-Jewish employees, stop paying sales tax, stop the paying FICA taxes they withhold from their employees’ paychecks and to stop reporting their incomes to the IRS altogether.

In a case that is widely expected to reach the Supreme Court, Goldie’s Scrumptious Delight argues that it should be allowed to take small change and iPods from employees’ pockets in the changing room. The local Brooklyn specialty shop, which makes cakes and pastries for over-the-top weddings and bar mitzvahs for the discriminating kosher consumer, has had the police called by irate employees multiple times over the past three years. In lower courts the kosher pilfering shop has argued that while most medieval halachik commentators agree that stealing from non-Jews is not allowed, some commentators have allowed it and this is their strongly held religious beliefs and the courts have no right to impinge on them. [click to continue…]