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Simchas Torah and Veteran’s Day

Simchas TorahWhile walking down 5th Ave today and observing the Veteran’s Day festivities I felt like it was Simchas Torah all over again.

On Simchas Torah you’ve got a lot of ebullient yeshiva bochurim happy to be free from yeshiva for two weeks, very excited about…well something, not knowing exactly what though, certainly not knowing the full history behind the development of this annual celebration of the completion of the Torah-reading cycle, and probably all the happier for their ignorance.

It’s also striking that those who dance most enthusiastically are those who learn a lot of gemarah and do not participate in the completion of chumash, at least they haven’t since the end of elementary school.

Near Bryant Park today I got the same vibe from the enthusiastic onlookers. This is New York City, this is not a particularly pro-military city and yet people feel obligated to express appreciation to military vets, at least on Veteran’s Day they do. But at the same time they disagree with almost every military campaign from the past 60 years, they vote for a president who, for the first few years of his presidency, broke with tradition and didn’t appear at Arlington National Cemetery to pay his respects.

Additionally they themselves would never participate in the military, like the conscientious objector yeshiva bochur who wouldn’t learn chumash even if he was threatened with not being allowed into Brisk.


Find out more about Simchas Torah at 4torah.com


Change You Can Believe In

As frum Jews we are all afraid of change, we don’t like change, we resist it, we protest against it in Time Square, we threaten to make a mass exodus from Israel over it, we rewrite history so that we’re not confronted with it; therefore Frum Satire’s pledge to you is to be unchanging. Frum Satire has been, is, and always will be there for you. But it is about to undergo some changes nevertheless, it will be change you can believe in though.

Now, unlike Obama who promised to deliver change and only followed through with issuing new coins, in the next few weeks we will deliver change. Big, seismic change. [click to continue…]


Get the Vote Out in Borough Park

Jewish voteIt’s very important before an election to remember who the true power brokers are. To that end the New Yorker ran a story yesterday called The Shame of Borough Park, which chronicles the travails of Sam Kellner, a man who found out the hard way that his community doesn’t follow the guidelines set forth by Agudath Israel. The Agudah talking heads have said numerous times that one must not go to the police to report child molesters unless one has permission from a rabbi, Kellner got permission but was ill-used in the ass anyways.

I think it serves him right though, who the hell did he think he is trying to imprison a respected chazzan, a man who selflessly gave rides to lonely teenagers he found walking to school? He should have just told the va’ad hatznius about the abuse and left it up to them to do nothing, it’s really none of his business. [click to continue…]


10 Hours of Walking in NYC

Walking in NYC

So I’m sure you’ve seen, or at least heard about, the women-haters of NYC who don’t allow women to walk down their streets unmolested by their catcalls. Unfortunately it turned out that the video makers were just as much racists as the catcallers were would-be rapists. Shoyn, nothing in this world is perfect, I guess. [click to continue…]


misanthropeThe New York Times published a nice article called The Beggars of Lakewood describing the tzedakah that goes on in Lakewood. I found it to be a nice, honest, portrayal. Being a koillel yungerman myself I did not feel that it was judgmental or derogatory. I even took to Dov Bear to share my opinions. See that august blog for some highbrow Shragi opinions.

But the deluded and paranoid Pinny Lipschutz cannot accept that the NYT would say anything positive about frum people, so he twists himself into lomdishe pretzels trying to portray the article as a negative piece; after all, if the New York Times isn’t bashing frum people, why should anyone buy the Yated? Right?

If you can’t bring yourself to read through his entire 2,000 word rant, I don’t blame you, but that’s what they hired me for, so here are some choice excerpts: [click to continue…]


The Shabbos Project is NOT About Kiruv

Shabbos ProjectRemember kids, the Shabbos Project is NOT about kiruv, the organizers said so themselves numerous times in their website. So please keep that in mind as you read these suggestions from Rabbi Klatzko on how to make sure your non-Orthodox Shabbos Project guests don’t realize you’re trying to be mekarev them. 


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Rabbi Shmuley on Rabbi Freundel

rabbi shmuley boteachIs America’s Rabbi parodying himself with this ridiculous reaction to Mikvahgate? Rabbi Shmuley Boteach is a tough act to follow, but in what follows he outdoes himself.
Rabbi Shmuley, despite his pain and shock, takes the time to respond to a professional frum sex counselor who pointed out how Shmuley’s message about what a man “must” do before having sex with his wife may be very unhelpful.
I myself would like the to take the time to point out that there is no gemara that says a man must give his wife an orgasm before having sex with her. The gemara the kosher sex rabbi is probably referencing is the one that says that when a woman becomes pregnant after sex, the gender of the child is determined by which partner “seeded” first – if the woman “seeds” first, she’ll have a boy, but if the man “seeded” first she’ll have a daughter. Yeah, whatever, don’t read 1,500 year-old medical journals.

Find out all the way Rabbi Shmuley makes an ass out of himself at 4torah.com