Who cares what Mark Twain’s opinion on the Jews was? I don’t, so why do so many, many people care? And why are they medayek in every shtickle Twain to see how they can reconcile the parts where they put down Jews with the parts where they praise them?

Mark TwainAish, as well as the pedophile Shmuel Waldman in his book Beyond a Reasonable Doubt, seem to revel in the fact that Mark Twain recognized the Jew’s uniqueness. It’s a pathetic sight to see them spill so much ink over the question of Mark Twain’s opinion on Jews.

So can we get a show of hands? How many of you have read the entire essay Concerning the Jews? Beyond the standard trope that the Jew has outlived the Egyptian, the Babylonian, the Roman etc. has anyone read the rest of it? I don’t think you’d satisfy yourself with reading the last three paragraphs of Huckleberry Finn and skip the part about the King and Duke getting tar and feathered, would you? Neither should you deny yourself the pleasure of reading the entire essay. Take, for example, this:

The Jew is not a burden on the charities of the state nor of the city; these could cease from their functions without affecting him.” [click to continue…]


During my recent annual visit to my rosh yeshiva I told him about all the awful people online who bring up such awfully good points against the frum community and my awful inability to counter their arguments. He reminded me of the absolute issur of going online for anything other than booking my seat at the next Agudah Convention. I told him I know, I know, but I couldn’t help it, I was online to be mekarev these poor lost souls.

That got him, he wanted more details.

I provided the following exchange I recently had a with a koifer on Facebook:

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I almost went a month without masturbating

dangers-of-masturbationThe fellow who wrote this wasn’t joking when he said most guys who went to yeshiva would be able to relate. I feel like the entire mussar of my yeshiva was based on eating cheeseburgers and masturbating, I hear both are some of Hashems greatest gifts to man, but what do I know. I do recall that feeling of guilt that hung over folks after going 2 weeks without choking the chicken and having top start all over again. It’s like we were addicts or something. [click to continue…]


shul shusherI used to hate shul talkers, but that was before I could choose shuls. That was before, the closest Orthodox shul was 20 miles away, that was before I was locked into a shul that was decidedly a non-talking shul. Up until recently there was absolute silence during most of the davening, but recently an Israeli section started forming and they talk during most of the davening. Yes, I’m jealous of those rude middle easterners for their ability to snore during the Rabbis speech and talk despite the subtle shushing coming from nearby. Back in the day, before I discovered that I enjoyed reading Gadol novels better than davening, I always felt that shul talking was a disgrace. Now, I just miss it.  [click to continue…]


On the Rabbi/OTD Summit & Other Missives

Being a member in good standing of the OTD community, as well as a member in poor standing in the frum community, I have a right, and a duty, to the Frum Satire community, which has no standing in either community, to give my unbiased, unvarnished opinion on the recent historical summit which took place in Monsey while Heshy was hanging out in Far Rockaway refusing to visit me.

On-the-Sob-StoryTurns out that a Frum Satire alumnus, Rabbi Eliyahu Fink, worked hard to get together a very diverse group of people, a group of people who would normally not get within striking distance of each other for fear that they would strike each other. No one knows what went on there because everyone in attendance signed a solemn oath not to repeat anything, they signed their names in blood and promised to sell their mothers down the river if they did say anything. Nevertheless some details have emerged and I want to focus on the mediums of their delivery.

First to talk about it was Rabbi Fink, he called it a groundbreaking meeting and earned himself the scorn of the very influential Facebook community.

Then there was Leah Vincent who wrote an article in the Forward about the sex she had and the rabbis she told about said sex, this too was groundbreaking. [click to continue…]


My first trip to New York in 2 years

new york traffic jamThe last time I was in New York it was for sheva brachos, that was the last time I saw most of my friends and family (besides for the tech folks who come for work and the outdoors folks that come to do outdoorsy things) in fact, my father hasn’t actually seen my wife and I together since the sheva brachos. The company I work for(Epic Bites), was hired to do multiple ultra high end (aka michelin lite) fundraiser dinners in New York. The work was intense and didn’t allow a lot of time for visiting friends or old haunts, but it gave me a taste of how New York has changed or rather how I may have changed in the past 2 years. [click to continue…]


Speak Yiddish to me

Definitely the best frum Jewish hip hop/music video I’ve seen in a long time.

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