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Moral Advice to Mother of Gay Son

Unhappy Bride and GroomThe following question appeared on the 5 Towns Jewish Times Dating Forum:

My husband and I are having a big debate: Is there something wrong with forcing a child to get married? We have a son who is 26 years old, but he does not want to get married. He does not even want to date, ever! I want to force him, but my husband is against it.

My son knows that he is not acting normally. I even brought over a relative who is a therapist to talk to him. He was very rude to her and walked out of the room. I joined a support group for parents of such boys, and I heard of stories where they forced their child to get married, and then he got divorced.

My husband went to a rebbe who told him that he agrees with me that we should put a lot of pressure on our son. That would be very easy for us to do. We can take away his car, or even threaten to throw him out of the house. But my husband does not want to do that. I am at my wits’ end. People are asking all sorts of questions, and we don’t know what to answer. The top girls are being redt to him and it’s all for nothing. We are very popular in our community, and our son is shaming us. What can we do?

Response

By Shragi Ackerman

I’m not generally against forcing 26 year-old children to get married, but before doing so you have to take all the facts into consideration.

I’m really glad to hear that you joined a support group for parents of gay boys, that’s an important first step. I hope you’ll share with me the information about this support group; there are so many parents in Lakewood that need this kind of support.  [click to continue…]

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Jewish Food Companies Are Run By Thugs

mayonazToday, my Israeli pickles somehow became Gefen when they got home. Same can, same everything, but now some shady Jewish company is distributing it instead of the kibbutz yavneh. Does anyone know the deal with these companies? Hadar, liebers, all these Heimish brands you find in Boro park and avoid in the supermaket till Pesach comes. Are there actually different companies, or are they all owned by the same people? I’m pretty sure Hadar used to be something else, and may not be around anymore. Gefen is Kedem. Lieber’s is definitely a fat chossid. Paskesz feels European for some reason. I also have a strong feeling their candy is made in rusty nuclear contaminated factories somewhere around chernobyl. Chernobyl eggs and sugar and saw dust probably make up those delicious Lieber’s animal crackers with the cute heads on them. Made on a rusty conveyor belt by Czech workers who never heard of sanitary laws. Just to be clear, those animal crackers are still delicious.

They rarely say where their stuff is made. Just distributed by some kosher thugs in Bayonne. [click to continue…]

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Gavriel Bodenheimer

Bodenheimer

Today Rabbi Gavriel Bodenheimer, the principal of Bais Mikroh in Monsey, plead guilty to endangering the welfare of a child. He entered this plea because he was accused of molesting a boy, a student in the school.

Torah Jews know that rabbis don’t molest kids, we don’t even need fingerprinting and background checks to ensure our rebbeim and menahels aren’t convicted molesters.

So how does a Torah Jew deal with this guilty plea which will keep the good rabbi away from schools and kids for three years? [click to continue…]

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This Is Not a Love Story – A Review

This Is Not a Love StoryReaders of Hush know that Judy Brown can make you cry, take you by surprise and make you dry your eyes at the same time*. They’ll be looking forward to the same experience when they buy her new book, This Is Not a Love Story: A Memoir which goes on sale today, and they won’t be disappointed.

But readers of Hush may also come with some notions that they know Brown already and don’t have much to learn, on this they will find that they’re wrong. Gittel is now Menucha, and Devoiry is nowhere to be found. In This Is Not a Love Story Brown’s family comes into clearer focus and Kathy, the friendly upstairs goyishe neighbor, is still there along with her very goyishe husband. [click to continue…]

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A Letter from a Father to his OTD Daughter

Ed: this letter is shared with permission from the father and daughter.

My dearest Suri,

As I fasted today, I sat and reflected on what our fast is all about. Why was our beautiful home in Yerushalayim destroyed? Why did the presence of Hashem leave us? What did we do to drive ourselves into this long bitter golus?

I always knew the answer, but I don’t think I understood it as well as I do right now. It was destroyed because we were judgmental of those who did not ACT the way we wanted them to act. We were embarrassed of those who did not DRESS the way that we wanted them to dress. We looked down at those that did not TALK the way we wanted them to talk. And our misplaced ego caused us to think that we are better then they are. This is what caused us to destroy ourselves completely. Without having a ayin tovah, a favorable and understanding eye on those around us, we are not deserving of having the divine presence of Hashem live among us. We threw ourselves out with our self-righteous mindset.

Which group of us caused the destruction? The ones “on the derech” or the ones “off the derech”? [click to continue…]

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Laying Blame for a Suicide

This isn’t very well known but the first suicide is recorded in the Torah.
Nadav and Avihu had been depressed for a long time but things seemed to get worse during the construction of the mishkan. There are conflicting reports as to why the mishkan made them sad, some said they were fatally embarrassed by their father Aharon’s leadership role in the making of the aygel hazahav, which effectively made them the children of a BT. [click to continue…]

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off the derech“Excuse me, are you Jewish?”

“Yes”

“Have you eaten any bacon yet today?”

This exchange will become the norm in yeshiva and seminary campuses and on street corners in Borough Park, Lakewood, Williamsburg, Monsey and even New Square if we don’t shut Footsteps down. Everyone is urged to call their state senators and urge them to sponsor a bill to shut down Footsteps. [click to continue…]

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