Lessons from a Commuter

I got in line early so I can get a seat toward the front of the bus, because a year of bus commuting has taught me that people board the bus, see all the partially occupied seats and continue rearward hoping to find an empty seat, and even if they don’t find one they settle back there rather than turn around and return to the front.

I got the forward seat I wanted and hoped that the bus wouldn’t fill up to the point where I’d have to share my seat with another person. They’re called coach buses because their seats are smaller than coach seats on airplanes. I once witnessed a rather overweight fellow who was comfortably spread out in the seat I wanted to sit share with him, as I moved to sit down next to him he was contracted himself into his seat. He didn’t move, he didn’t shift, he didn’t squeeze himself; he just contracted himself. Amazing. [click to continue…]

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Yes, this video was worthy enough for me to come out of retirement. It may or may not be real, but it made me laugh in this time of sorrow and I hope it makes you laugh too. Terror against Jews is no laughing matter, but sex with goats is always kind of funny.

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Bain Hazmanim Chronicles – Part 3

Dear Devoiry,

Thanks for the food you sent back with me, it makes all the difference; as much as I like going to Glatt Gourmet and Kosher Taco, we really can’t afford it (seriously, it’s like $18 without a side dish!).

Thank you also for doing all the laundry for me, I know it’s not easy to do it in the bungalow colony on Sunday when everyone’s fighting over the machines. The men want to get out, the women also want the men to get out and it was Erev 9 Days to boot, so I really appreciate it. [click to continue…]

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The Secret Formula to Life

stock-photo-11462054-sad-man-with-coffeeLife isn’t always easy. For me, I see life (as an adult) very similar to how I see coffee. It’s rough and bitter and boring, and everyone else seems to love it and be comfortable doing the same bad thing and look forward to it and even spend large amounts of money getting even darker coffee for reasons that don’t make sense to me. [click to continue…]

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Bain Hazmanim Chronicles – Part 2

Dear Shragi,

Thanks for your email; I’m very glad you sent it because I ended up being too busy on Friday to speak on the phone so at least I got an update. (Don’t ask!! My mother sent me shopping in Fallsburgh and Walmart and it was crazy!! The lines were out the door!!!)

I also can’t wait till we go to Lake George; it’ll be after Tisha B’Av so there will be minyanim there. But I’m worried about the shopping you did for the trip, I don’t want Malky knowing that we bought a tent, it’s so nebby and she’ll tell the whole neighborhood. Was she sitting on her steps when you came home? How did you bring it into the house? Was it in a big bag? I’m really worried. Please be careful. [click to continue…]

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Dear Berish,

Don’t worry about it, really, you’ll be fine.

Enjoy,

Shragi

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Find out more about girls in nightgowns at 4torah.com

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Bain Hazmanim is in the Air

Dear Devoiry,

There’s only three weeks left to the zman and we’re rushing to finish daf daled amud alef.
I’m glad you decided to go to your parents’ bungalow till the end of the zman, because what else would you do with the kids? When we go to Lake George after the 9 Days we’ll finally be able to spend time with the kids.

I plan on doing all the shopping for that trip tomorrow because my chavrusah is going to be away, he said he has a doctor’s appointment but I think he’s going to Manhattan with his wife. [click to continue…]

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