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The Dalai Lama Is A Complete Moron, But Not As Much As You People Who Quote Him On Facebook

Every facebook girl who posts pictures of their kids as props for their selfies and secretary who tapes fortune cookie papers on their computer screen’s favorite spiritual guide is back  to share more wisdom with us in a New York Times op-ed, that just happens to coincide with this year’s book that shares the same theme. What a stroke of good fortune!
But that’s just what happens when your chi is in tune with the universe’s 7 chakras of compassion, my dear sweet friends.

In his piece called “Behind our anxiety, the fear of being unneeded”, his Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama of the way of Cross and Dragon once again proves his indispensability to society by touching on a deep truth that he totally didn’t hear every news outlet and old Jewish politician say this year to massive crowds of people. People in Western countries are anxious because they don’t feel useful to society anymore. Holy fucking shit. How did he realize that? Did he hear Trump saying we don’t make anything anymore and all our jobs are in China? Did he listen to every goddamn word Bernie Sanders ever said? Maybe he heard about Brexit…

No, you fucking idiot heathens. “In April 2015, His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu met in Dharamsala for a conversation about joy.” (Penguin Random House, 2016.)

That’s how he was able to enlighten us with such gems as, “We all need to be needed. Being “needed” does not entail selfish pride…Rather, it consists of a natural human hunger to serve our fellow men and women. As the 13th-century Buddhist sages taught, “If one lights a fire for others, it will also brighten one’s own way.” 

Blow me down. Apparently, say esteemed American Enterprise Institute president Arthur C. Brooks and 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, the spiritual leader of Tibet and a Nobel laureate for peace, working age men in America have less employment opportunities than they did 50 years ago. Yeah, you read that right. Less. And get this: Unemployment can even make you feel bad. “The consequences are not merely economic. Feeling superfluous is a blow to the human spirit. It leads to social isolation and emotional pain, and creates the conditions for negative emotions to take root.” Yeah.

“Well Geez Louise,” you’re thinking, “How do we fix this?”

Well, if it was up to your sheltered stupid suburban white self, we couldn’t. But thankfully, two spiritual leaders who are minorities from third world countries and who live a real life are here to give you the simple joy and wisdom of nature and the temples and shit like that.

“The first answer is not systematic. It is personal. Everyone has something valuable to share. We should start each day by consciously asking ourselves, “What can I do today to appreciate the gifts that others offer me?”

Ahhhh. Well, wait, didn’t you just Not quote Bernie Sanders that the problem is unemployme-

Shut the fuck up! You didn’t let me finish:

“Leaders need to recognize that a compassionate society must create a wealth of opportunities for meaningful work…A compassionate society must provide children with education and training that enriches their lives, both with greater ethical understanding and with practical skills that can lead to economic security and inner peace. (I promise you I’m not making this up.) A compassionate society must protect the vulnerable while etc etc

Building such a society is no easy task. No ideology or political party…Misguided thinking…friendship… compassion…human dignity…intrinsic usefulness of every personbetter and more meaningful world…  (you’re almost at the end, don’t worry)… The problems we face cut across conventional categories; so must our dialogue, and our friendships.

May we all bring the bias goel bimhairah veyamainu amein. Finally someone with practical solutions. The book of Joy: Lasting happiness in a changing world, available on Amazon in paperback for just 26.99 or kindle for 13.99 with slightly less joy. If you want, you can bash yourself in the forehead with a brick over and over to be able to fully appreciate His Holiness’s wisdom.


{ 148 comments… add one }
  • jon brown November 7, 2016, 6:59 PM

    You’d think that India was utopian paradise. How come every luny giving advice to western civilization lives in some disease infested rat-hole?

    • dstaum November 17, 2016, 7:21 PM

      Maybe because the Dalai Lama isn’t from India.

      • David Brainerd December 12, 2016, 4:33 AM

        He lives in India.

    • Dar hosanna February 11, 2017, 1:09 PM

      Some of those ppl living in 3rd world disease ridden countries are survivors of the holocaust and living in terrible pain and conditions.And to answer your question about the India utopia?poor people are the strongest sometimes and they have a G-D to. They have every right to offer advice and I’ll take it because I know what it’s like and I had a homeless man help me in line when I was short.So I’ll take the wisdom however I can get it. People who have been there should get it and the young people like yourself who don’t,will.No problem with the question I wanted to offer you advice. I’m defending what you describe because I help a young man send big bags of rice &cloths to Guanda.I have been dirt poor and that’s when you learn to be better for orther people.Alot of poor people would never want to switch with old money ppl because they feel more contemptuous twords the blaiton ignorance and some feel sorry for some rich people and the truth is the ignorance that poor people get blaimed for share the same type of Blanton ignorance thst old money ppl have.I prefer to listen to my past and not look for acceptance on a forum.But since you are a kid im giving you a break but the adults who answerd you in a tone,those are the people I get turned off by.note:Ignorant we all are-but be careful about blaiton ignorance.

      • jon brown October 18, 2017, 7:20 PM

        I wasn’t being contemptuous about the people living in the disease infested rat holes. My attitude was directed toward the leaders who got them there in the first place.
        I’m sorry if you took offence.

        • Dar Hosanna October 18, 2017, 8:49 PM

          I Am so sorry. I hardly remember that. I Am so glad I came this way. It breaks my heart to know I was so hard on that.And you are a really not just a good person but one with cooth. You had a chance to pick up on my misspelled words and sure you did.But you stayed in point. You did nothing wrong.And I have never been to india and I don’t know what any human would do.jon Brown, I’m sure I was misplacing my anger. I Have seen a big difference between nyc and Charles town w.va & I am disappointed in alot of it&I was hard on your because I was tired of the same thing here of ignorance.I hope you can forgive me.I don’t come here much so I wasn’t ignoring you. Peace my friend ✌

    • Dar Hosanna October 18, 2017, 9:16 PM

      Actually I agree.And when you look back at history it’s really the truth.And do we really know what their true story is?I think you made alot of people think.And I am now. Thanks mr.Brown, Dar Hosanna. My name is Pamela Dar Woodward.I had decided to convert to Judaism and Hosanna is going to be my Hebrew name. Oh,my and this was according to the date is when I decided to convert. I was going through alot but made it through. I noticed my anger issue too.I tried signing in but it’s not letting me without hassle.And I closed my fb page Google plus etc..I found I didn’t have the talent for it.I don’t know if I’ll be back but if you feel you need to speak to me.I am on lookouts and my email is Pamelawooodward3@gmail.com and don’t feel pressured by the invite.I just don’t want to lie awake thinking I left you hanging. I feel most horrible for writing that.I read it and it doesn’t seem like me. But it was me. I am thankful I was directed here. It was totally random.I sat my phone down and came back it was here. Anyway thanks for the enlightenment.

  • I'll November 7, 2016, 8:08 PM

    Since when is the Dali llama frum?

    • Count chocula November 10, 2016, 9:12 PM

      Hes as frum as Shmueli boteach

  • GlendaNews November 7, 2016, 10:48 PM

    What is like a smelly fart,
    that, although invisible is obvious?
    One’s own faults, that are precisely
    As obvious as the effort made to hide them.”

    His Holiness the 7th Dalai Lama

  • CentralJerseyMom November 11, 2016, 7:06 PM

    I suspect the problem is that his co-author is Arthur C. Brooks, “compassionate conservative” author of such classics Who Really Cares: The Surprising Truth about Compassionate Conservatism and Gross National Happiness: Why Happiness Matters for America andHow We Can Get More of It.

    Your typical NY Times reader is going to probably pass right over anything written by Brooks while being unable to resist the click bait of the Dalai Lama.

  • Kumat Me'Brah November 27, 2016, 5:59 PM

    Da fuck?!?!?!

  • Arda Diler February 7, 2017, 6:16 AM

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