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Pesach Is All About Relationships. I guess.

passover-meaning

Pesach is about gratitude. When nobody cared, someone looked out for you. That’s why we remember it every year, even though they haven’t done anything cool in a really long time and have probably forgotten about you. Thanks Maxwell House!

Pesach is about going back home to spend time with your family because then you don’t have to be at a single’s seder and experience feelings of wanting to kill everyone there. You can just go home where you feel the familiar warmth of shame and years-long suppressed rage.

That’s why Pesach is really about our relationship with God. We don’t have to compare ourselves with our siblings who are married with kids and still have feelings of pride because they didn’t desperately hook up with gross girls. Why, you may ask? Because God has a relationship with all of us. When he saved us from Mitzrayim, did he first ask us to have a conversation with him and act interested in his crap for some unknown reason? “Oh, Did you see the new Kardashians? Oh right, you were in fucking mitzrayim.” No, of course not. He made goddamn miracles for us first and then asked us to get him a sheep. Which wtf of course we were very happy to do. He fucking gets it. At least a long time ago apparently he did. (This story should be studied in every above 23 years old women’s dating class. Maybe we’d be seeing some of those nashim tzidkaniyos I’ve heard so much about. How come single men can’t hold a conversation? Oh yeah, because they’re in a fucking desert. Ta da. I solved your shidduch crisis. I want 25% of all of your future children’s best drawings.)

Back to my inspirational dvar Torah here. Pesach isn’t about holding your head up and being proud. Avraham challenged God’s promise at the Bris bein habesarim saying, “Bameh Eidah”, “With what will I know?” And God answered “Yadoah tedah…” You’ll know when I send your grandchildren to Miztrayim for 400 years.

So when you’re enjoying yourself with your beautiful family, eating fried chicken you just bought from the Lancaster Mikvah at Hershey, maybe stop and think to yourself, “Am I stopping Mashiach coming by enjoying myself here?” Of course you are.

Hit your boy up on ig at stop being a fucking idiot.

Comments on this entry are closed.

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  • Rebbizzel

    Thanks for the laugh!

  • Chaim Danzinger

    Wow I actually like this article. Instead of LARPing as Wellhausen, it was actually about how shitty and shallow life in the frum commumity really is.

    • Author

      chaim damziger the frum troll

      • Chaim Danzinger

        Thanks for paying attention to me. Now I don’t want to post here anymore……>_>

        • Ed Karesky

          That would be nice for all concerned.

  • MOISHELA

    BS”D

    Discussion with Moishela (with his family)

    A Handicapped child

    28 Nisan 5776 (May 6, ‘16)

    “It Is TRUTH!”

    Mommy, There will be big revelations this coming week. Most people won’t understand what they are hearing or seeing but there will be enough people that will understand. The world is in great danger. The drums of war are heard everywhere. Worldwide we see countries pulling out their most deadly weapons and exhibiting them together with their armies marching in formation to the sounds of war. The rattling of missiles, beating of the drums is happening in almost every country of the world. While most of the people stop and scratch their heads trying to figure out why in the world everyone is talking about war. It’s not clear in any way what the reasons are for countries to go to such an extreme. But the world has bowed its head and just let the Reshoim continue their plans to take over all of the world and march most of humanity directly to their death.

    This coming week should reveal more of their plans. The people of America are trying to make Donald Trump their president in order to overcome the shackles that have been put on them by the Reshoim or socalled popular vote of the people of the United States. I doubt very seriously if there will be an election at all.

    Hashem is going to bring upon the world such an enormous tragedy, such an enormous test for the righteous and those who want to be righteous, that in all history, since man was created, no test, no spiritual test has ever been so difficult.

    But Hashem is preparing us for it. He created us and He knows who will pass and who will fail, Chas Vesholom. However we don’t know what the outcome will be. So, Am Yisroel, hold on tight to your Emunah and Bitachon in Hashem. Hold on tight to your Davening and to our customs, our learning Torah, to everything that makes us Yidden. Hold onto your outward Tzniusdik look of a Yid. Hold on with all your heart, your soul and your might so as not to be blown away by the incredibly strong winds of destruction that will destroy most of the world. There will also be fire and water together with the wind that will destroy two thirds of our planet eart.This is not a joke, it’s not made up. It is Truth! It’s not a movie or a story written in a book. It is the Truth! One day soon we are going to realize that it is Truth. I hope for all Am Yisroel and for all the righteous Goyim that accept the Truth that we survive this most difficult time and live on to achieve eternity.

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