The Star K joined a collection of no-name hechsherim in creating a new criteria for gaining kashrut status. Brands must have an SFK name. As this photo shows, you can even get a hechsher on bacon donuts, you just need an SFK name on the branding. What’s SFK? Internet savvy folks know what NSFW means. It’s not safe for work, a.k.a. pritzus and other content that you could get you in hot water with your HR department at work. Cutesy restaurants and food vendors have inadvertently created a new category — NSFK. Using certain words can get you in trouble with the kashrus department. You can’t get a hechsher unless you cover the naughty bits in your name. So if you want to keep your hechsher you have to follow the following rules:
- No referencing Avoda Zarah. That’s why they shut down Buddha’s and Yehudah’s House of Soy and Oy in Amherst, MA last month. No Ashtoret K’toret spices. No Ba’al in the Ba’alagan Bistro either. Forget about Santa Claus cookies.
- Speaking of Santa, no names of other people we don’t like either. So you can call the product wheat gluten, but you are not getting a hechsher if you call it Seitan. No restaurants named “Eezevel” (Jee, they serve zevel?). No Lilith Latkes either. You can’t even use Vashti in a name. You should have seen the debate about Hamantashen, the name stays, barely.
- No making fun of Rebbes or frum groups. So no hechshers on Satmeringue Lemon Pies. The old Rav Pam Cooking Spray almost lost their hechsher, but no one remembered who Rav Pam was anymore. You still can’t buy mountain spring Elchonon Wasser Bottles. Of course, Telz Angel Cake mix was never kosher in the first place (I had to throw that in).
All products that do not conform to SFK names will be pulled from haimish stores within a 2 mile radius of 39th street and 14th avenue. Surprisingly though, you can still find Ginger AleElyon, EloHimalayan Pink Salt, ShaDiaper rash creme, and AdoNiacin B3 vitimin tablets. But no more Hakadosh Barbecue — cuz good taste and harmless branding is NSFK, not safe for kosher.
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