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Now on History Channel: The Lord: Angels and Abraham

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Riding the popularity of their hit miniseries, “The Bible”, The History Channel commissioned a team of cameramen to go behind the scenes for a Lord’s eye view, in “The Lord”.

Previously on The Lord…
God’s 3 angels appeared to Abraham and promised him a child the next year. The Lord said, “Shall I hide what I’m doing from Abraham?”

Pan up to God in heaven.

God: Shall I hide what I’m doing from Abraham?

Gabriel: Well, I’m not sure-

God: Uh, rhetorical, Gabriel.

Gabriel: Right.

God: Abraham’s my boy!

Gabriel: Right. I know.

God: You still have a problem with Abraham?

Gabriel: I never said that.

God: Your tone.

Gabriel: There was no tone.

God: Gabriel…

Gabriel: Fine yes. Im hurt. OK? There I said it. Abraham’s your new friend and what about us?

Michael: I statements…

Gabriel: Fine, what about me?

God: But Abraham’s the man.

Gabriel: And how do you think that makes me feel?

God: Listen Gabriel, we’re friends, but Abraham and me are just different. We have something really special. Remember? He smashed the idols, jumped into the fire? Want me to go on? Abraham and me are like this.

Gabriel: And me?! I worship you!

God: Yeah…it’s kind of creepy.

Gabriel: Creepy?!

Michael: God, whoa come on.

God: Ok Im sorry. Its nice. We’re really good friends Gabriel. We’ve been really good friends for like thousands of years. I wish you could just be happy for me-

Gabriel: You want me to jump into the fire? Is that it? I would. I’m just invulnerable, so I can’t. And you’re holding that against me. And Ok Im not complaining but I didnt ASK to have super powers. Ok? If you want me to jump into fire why don’t you ask? I’m not a mind-reader.
God: Come on man, don’t make this weird. Come here.

Gabriel: No, I just don’t get it-

God: Come on Gabriel. Come on. Hug. Ohh. There we go.

Michael: Awww!

God: I love you man.

Gabriel: Yeah…ok.

God: Come on, smile.

Gabriel: Mmmm Ok…

God: Yeah! Ok guess what, I have a surprise. We. Are. All. Going. To flip over sodom and gemorrah!

Gabriel: Ha ha! For real? Man, that place is a cesspool of evil. I was wondering when we were going there…

God: Right now guys. And I’m going to tell Abraham.

Gabriel: Oh, just do it. You don’t have to involve me.

God: Gabriel…

Gabriel: Just give me some space.

God: Ok….But it’s going to be fun, I promise.

Gabriel: Yeah…Just call me when we’re smiting.

God: Ok man.

Cut Scene to something else.

 

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  • Anonymous

    You lost me at “pan up”. You can’t pan up, you can tilt up. Panning is horizontal movement of the camera. Tilting is vertical. Learn some film terms.

    • http://yeshivaforum.wordpress.com OfftheDwannaB

      Thanks for the input troll.