The Rabbi gave a men’s only shiur on shmiras einayim last week (guarding your eyes – for the frum illiterate) and I decided to go through with character building and try it out. Once in a while I find myself trying not to look at scantily clad ladies for the challenge of it, I didn’t know I was wracking up schar and gan eden seat upgrades for doing it. Like many regular dudes, I find myself staring at ladies an awful lot, my wife says I need to be more discreet, but if you saw the half naked yoga moms that pack into the JCC in San Francisco every day you would stare too. I joke around with the security guards about how good their jobs get at about 2 in the afternoon. That’s when these hot rich ladies with thousand dollar strollers walk on in wearing sports bras and leggings that show every crease in their butts. I didn’t realize how tough shmiras einayim was until I actually tried it.
The Rabbi said something interesting, he said to look women in the face when you talked to them. Funny, because all the frummies I ever met look down. So one day last week I actually gave it my all, I looked straight ahead and literally avoided looking at half naked ladies for the day. It felt good, my neck kind of hurt and my eyes stung, but just when I thought I had given it my all – I failed miserably when a bunch of college girls wearing what appear to be the new booty shorts style (they look like leggings that end right at the butt cheek bottoms) walked past me in the Presidio †.
It’s an ongoing challenge, I’m not exactly sure that I’m helping myself, but I guess it could be a good thing and since I can’t exactly go out and randomly hook up anymore (not that I would have ever touched a girl before I was married either) those pretty women still beacon the eyes. The Rabbi did say it wasn’t an all or nothing kind of mitzvah, so I challenge myself with not looking some of the time. Of course I haven’t put a blocker or filter on my internet and don’t intend to so maybe I’m just a faker.
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