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If you’re going to send hate mail, make it good!

Hate mail and hateful comments are just another aspect of blogging, it’s almost a certainty that no matter what you write or say, someone will be offended. You can try to defend yourself all you want, but once in a while it pisses someone off enough to say things that ordinary people would probably crawl under their desk to have a few private sobbing moments to themselves. I’m sure I would do the same if I had a heart and a soul, but since I’m just another heartless bastard with no feelings, I shrug them off as if it were shrapnel hitting The Terminator. Still, I find some of the hate mail and exchanges quite comical. When I first started blogging it focused on the mockery and chillul Hashem, then they moved on to my terrible grammar and finally in the last 6 months they’ve decided to curse my marriage and tell my wife that she is a whore (they must be Satmar).

The latest “hate mail” exchange came from a recently joined obviously spam account on Facebook. The fellow by the name of Mark Donnor decided to tell my wife that I fooled around with other girls before marriage, I guess in his world husbands and wives keep such things from each other and pretend that all of their bedroom moves were learned from ruach hakodesh. “I swear honey, I learned that move from a malach who visited me while I was doing tikkun chatzos“. When she respondedhe called her a whore and so on.

At first when we married, my wife was pretty offended by anonymous commenters calling her names and telling us that we should be cursed and so on. I was finally able to convince her that it’s all a game, no one really takes trolls seriously, but it took some getting used to. I’ve been having people tell me that I’m a chillul hashem and an asshole for 7 years, you have to develop your thick skin. Comments and facebook shouldn’t mean much either because it takes no work, now if you get a phone call or an email, that actually required someone to make a fake email address to harass you.

What I truly miss, is the devout critical email that tries to give me a mussar, I like those, but they take work and the person writing it usually cares about your soul. I miss long emails of responsa like in talmudic times and I miss thoughtful hate mail in general. I’ve noticed that people rarely email anymore, as more and more of us become accustomed to acronyms and texting and so the hate mail has taken a dive. I can’t even remember when the last time I saw a good hate mail message.

Insulting my wife is not considered good hate mail, it’s not classy and you will probably be cursed for it. You can pay kabalists in Israel to curse pople you know.

Fine more on 4torah.com

{ 59 comments… add one }
  • s(b.) December 5, 2012, 1:59 PM

    I’m floored that anyone would say anything unkind to you or your wife about the two of you being together. Jeepers.

  • ModernOrthodoxObserver December 5, 2012, 2:02 PM

    Aren’t they not allowed on the internet?

    We must tell his leader.

  • Elad December 5, 2012, 3:50 PM

    Wow, well said. I totally agree and think it takes much more chutzpah, guts, and bravery to put yourself and your name out there then to site back and write pissy comments.

    I would like to say, though, that a blogger has a certain responsibility in the kind of people he attracts and the community he creates. After all, a blogger is essentially creating a community with his blog, and the comments inevitably follow along the lines of the tone he puts out in this community. Of course, even mellow blogs will have a few haters, but we as bloggers still need to remember that the people that harass us are often just a reflection of our own work and the effect it has on the world.

    • OfftheDwannaB December 6, 2012, 6:01 AM

      I don’t agree. For the regular readers, yeah. But the random assholes who show up for a week or two to troll you, no.

      • Dan December 6, 2012, 7:07 AM

        Well, I’m a regular a—-e who shows up to troll regularly. Where do I fit in?

  • Micah T December 5, 2012, 4:19 PM

    Isn’t the hate mail kind of canceled out be the fan mail. You must have thousands of hardcore fans – the blog is enormously popular.

    • Mrs. Fried December 5, 2012, 6:54 PM

      It wasn’t Heshy that got called a whore. Just sayin’. 😉

      • Micah T December 6, 2012, 4:21 PM

        You’re right – point taken.

  • Marcos December 5, 2012, 4:44 PM

    Heshi is a gadol in my book! Don’t let anyone bring you down.

  • Yochanan December 5, 2012, 6:50 PM

    After you said “Terminator”, I started reading this in a Schwarzenegger voice.

  • The Learned Mule December 5, 2012, 7:39 PM

    Blog on! ????? ??????? ??? ??? ???? ?????!

  • A. Nuran December 5, 2012, 11:54 PM

    Sadly, we live in a world of fast communication, where people can interact from thousands of miles away with the push of a button.

    This means idiot trolls are out of reach and can’t get the kicking they deserve

  • Gd-Bless-FrumSatire-and-MrMrsFried December 6, 2012, 4:00 AM

    When the devil is exorcised from the child, it screams and curses and spews hateful filth.

    Your blog is exorcising the garbage from true Jewish faith and you and your wife are blessed souls bringing many people back to Judaism, including myself.

    Do not worry for one second about the nonsense. HaShem is watching you and your wife and I am sending an Ayin Tov to Shamayim to counter the Ayin Haras.

  • Michael December 6, 2012, 4:50 AM

    If it makes you feel better, your blog is one of the only things keeping me frum.

    In a world here the inmates running the asylum (or at least their Askanim are) it’s good to be reminded that not everyone who is frum is also off their rocker.

    Make sure that you keep writing in a way to keep the hate mail coming – if you every give in to those guys, I may have to cash in my Tzitiz and Kipa

    • A. Nuran December 6, 2012, 12:07 PM

      This is why I still say Heshy is one of the most effective kiruv workers out there. He’s not even trying to be one.

  • littleduckies December 6, 2012, 6:36 AM

    I see no reason to write out a long response to someone who has been at this for 7 years. “Al tochiach letz” also means only to criticize someone who will listen.

    I don’t see any point in putting a lot of effort, time, and hard work into someone who reads hate mail because he enjoys it. Doesn’t gain anyone anything.

    Just FYI, when I saw your blog five years ago, I hated it. Now, I’m apathetic about it. Five years ago, I would never have dared to grace such a filthy page with a comment, and thus I also did not visit, so as not to grace it with a hit. Today? Meh, whatever. If it interests me, fine. If not, not.

    The opposite of love is not hate, though. It is apathy. So, the people who send you hate mail, obviously don’t really hate you.

    And look who has written a pretty long comment, though not about why your blog is !@#$. Yes, it took some effort. No, it did not take a lot.

    • OfftheDwannaB December 6, 2012, 7:44 AM

      Youre a fuckin douchebag.

      • Mrs. Fried December 6, 2012, 9:44 AM

        I think she’s just bitter about her own lame-ass blog. Try the link and find out how gripping it is.

    • Anonymous December 11, 2012, 4:05 AM

      You can’t be a serious critic or you would realize Heshy always listens and responds when there is something of substance to respond to.

  • A. Nuran December 6, 2012, 12:08 PM

    Makes me think of Cory Doctorow’s book Your Hate Mail Will be Graded

  • moshe moshel December 6, 2012, 12:51 PM

    Keep pumping

    Out those posts and making people smile.

  • JohnL December 6, 2012, 8:50 PM

    Don’t worry about God. S/He has a sense of humour…which is why I chose it as my God!

  • A. Nuran December 8, 2012, 10:22 AM

    Put’s me in mind of Cory Doctorow’s book “Your Hate Mail Will be Graded”

  • littleduckies December 9, 2012, 11:10 AM

    Wow, you guys are so mature! Bring on the insults, kiddos!

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