Charedi technology to fight the war on pritzus

Now that we have blurry glasses, kosher phones and internet chavrusas to aid in the war on pritzus I was wondering what other technological innovations the Charedi world might come up with to stay one step ahead of those women wishing to bring immorality into our lives by dressing immodesty or leaving the home. I came up with a list of ideas that could definitely help the Charedi world stay up on the technological front because burning dumpsters, spitting onĀ  little girls and boycotts won’t work forever – we live in a world f innovation and it’s time the ultra orthodox world used it to their advantage. New ways for Charedim to fight against pritzus:

Cars that automatically run over any pedestrians that are dressed untznius.

GPS systems that pinpoint all of the untznius billboards so you can avoid them.

Blindfolds with GPS so you don’t even have to chas v’shalom look 3 feet ahead of you – definitely the next step beyond those blurry glasses.

Automatic skirt measure turnstiles in order to get into frum neighborhoods

Digital tznius signs like the one’s in Mea Shearim that show pictures of girls getting bleached because they were wearing red.

Computers that shock you if you try to access forbidden sites, because someone is always screwing with the web filter.

Ejection seats on buses so we can get women out of the front without making a scene.

Strollers that automatically guide the woman home during hours when she’s not allowed to be outside.

Cameras that detect breaches of the neighborhood tznius code and send out an alert to all the unemployed riot starters in the neighborhood.

Dumpsters that burst into flames whenever an untznius woman walks past.

Untznius dummies that taze anyone who doesn’t look down when walking past.

Rebbe holograms that appear randomly at places most prone to breaches of the tznius code.

Red light cameras that can also see if a woman is driving or wearing her seat belt illegally.

Find out more on 4torah.com

 

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